


Dude Looks Like a Lady

by Aridethdar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crossdressing, M/M, Original Character(s), Slytherin!Harry, Smart!Harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-19
Updated: 2014-02-05
Packaged: 2017-12-12 08:35:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/809522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aridethdar/pseuds/Aridethdar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Dursleys leave Harry during a family vacation to the Americas when Harry is very young. With no knowledge of who he is, where he lives, or even his name. He is found by a magical family with...issues and they decide to take him. However, when they realize WHO he is, they have to make some … changes. The Wizarding World is in for a shock! (Cross-dressing, Slash)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Left Behind

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the lovely J K Rowling does. And no, I do not make any money off of this. This is solely for my entertainment.
> 
> WARNINGS: If you don't read this, then you can't complain :P lol Reference of child abuse/neglect. Unofficial kidnapping I guess, technically. But since the Dursleys don't care, is it really considered kidnapping? XD lol (Note: I don't condone kidnapping, but this is a fanfic and no children are harmed in the making... actually, it saves one.) Death of an OC... Cross-dressing. Oh! Main pairing is HP/LV (which means this is slash/gay/yaoi or however else you wish to phrase it) Thank you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betaed by my FFN friend sapphyredragon-rn ♥ She is awesome ~

Word Count: 2266

oOoOoOo

"I will NOT go back!" A raven haired woman yelled as she wrapped herself around the lamp post the couple had been passing.

"Zemirea, love, you have been hiding out in this country for four years. It's time you come home." The man tried to talk to the woman while he attempted to gently pry her away from the metal post.

"I said NO, Rynell! I will not… I can not…" Zemirea's emerald eyes welled up with tears as her voice started to crack. "I can not bear the shame of having lost a child." She whispered as she hid her face as best she could against the pole.

"Love, you need to come to terms with what happened." Rynell sighed as he ran a hand through his brunette hair, which effectively messed up his stately coiffure. "You're not the only one who has been hurting." His eyes softened as he placed a hand on the woman's shoulder.

Rynell's blue eyes sparkled like crystal as he looked at his lovely wife, who had wrapped herself around the pole as if it were a lover. Granted, if they were alone in their home he would find the display quite… enticing. However, no matter how low on the power scale their family was, they were purebloods and as such were expected to show some decorum while in public.

"Love… you look like a pole dancer."

Within a flash the woman had disentangled herself from the lamp post and stood a good yard away, smoothing out her lavender robes as if nothing had happened. Though the rose color tinting her cheeks told a story all its own.

"Now Zemirea, we cannot just stay in the Colonies…"

"Watch me." The woman cut in as she glared daggers at the man. "And they are not Colonies. America gained their independence ages ago." She stated plainly as she stuck her nose in the air.

"Yes, of course." Rynell stated, his hands in the air in a placating gesture. "But Zemi, we need to return to Britain."

"Why should I? I'm quite happy here."

"Because you are my wife." Rynell sighed. "Unless, of course, you no longer wish to be…" He trailed off, looking quite forlorn.

"Of course I want to be your wife!" The woman cried and hugged the man. "It's just… I was unable to provide you a child." She whispered brokenheartedly into his shoulder.

"Hush now." He said in a soothing voice. "We can talk about it, if that will make you feel better. But let's do it together."

Several minutes passed as they just held each other before the woman started laughing lightly.

"We have not been acting like proper Purebloods today, have we?" She asked as she gave him a teary smile.

"Americans are much more lax than the society we are used to." Rynell shot back with a smile.

"Hence why I have been staying here… they would not judge me for being unable to bear a child." Zemi stated sadly as she pulled away from her husband's arms, though she did not move from him.

"Pureblood society is harsh, yes, but we have lived with it all our lives. True, neither of us are high up on the social ladder but…" He trailed off and shook his head. "Besides, maybe your body is just not ready to produce a child. You cannot be certain that you are barren. At any rate, perhaps the other Purebloods will not care to pay attention to our woes."

"Surely you jest. They are going to be all over this! When I return without a child… This is going to be horrible. Are you certain we cannot move here permanently?" She asked, her eyes pleading.

"My job is in Britain. I cannot abandon the business my family has put so much effort into for generations."

"I suppose you are right, Ry. I just wish…"

The sound of a child's laughter rang through the otherwise empty street and the couple looked at one another.

"Honestly, who in their right mind would have a child out this late? And in this area… do they not realize this town houses a vampire clan?" Zemi shook her head, though Rynell could see the worry in her gaze.

"I did not know that… then again, you have been here quite a bit longer than I. Perhaps they are from out of town as well? Let us go warn them of the dangers." Rynell offered his hand to the beautiful woman and she took it with a smile, both grateful for the distraction.

oOoOoOo

A lovely raven haired child walked around aimlessly in the large town. The child's big emerald eyes looked around excitedly, an expression of awe on their adorable young face.

"So pwetty!" The child giggled as he happily continued to check out all the sights, not one bit put off by the fact it was night time.

The little one's family had left him alone near the clock tower several hours ago. Even though the child's Aunt and Uncle told him not to try and find the family, after a couple of hours he just couldn't stay still. A kid will be a kid, after all, and the town was too lovely for the little guy to pass up!

Besides, the sun had gone down and the town lit up so pretty!

Though the little boy hadn't a clue where his family went, he didn't much care really. They weren't very nice and the place they lived was horrible! He should know, he was the one that cleaned and kept the place nice most of the time.

This place was so much better! All the lights and sights here were mesmerizing and the child wanted nothing more than to stay there always. It was like a town from one's dreams or something. A magical place where people cared about little freaks and didn't mind if a child was… odd.

 _'Right, there's no such thing as magic.'_ The boy sighed as they remembered what his Uncle always yelled whenever he said the "M" word… and the punishment that usually followed.

"Hey there little one. Aren't you just the cutest thing." A woman called from behind the child.

 _'Ah, there must be another kid here too. She can't be talking about me.'_ No… with the overly large clothes, which looked more like a dress than the shirt it actually was, and the big scar that adorned the small child's forehead… _'Yeah, she can't be talking about me. But maybe the other kid will wanna play…No, no one wants to play with a freak.'_ The child thought sadly.

"Are you alright, Sweetie? You're not a mute, are you?" The woman's voice sounded concerned and it was like…

 _'Is she right next to me?'_ The green eyed child wondered and looked over his shoulder in shock.

Sure enough, the nice lady was standing right beside them. But as he looked around he realized that there were no other children around, which meant…

 _'She's talkin' to me!'_ The green eyed boy thought in wonder and smiled brightly at the woman. "No Ma'm, I jus' didn' know you wer talkin' to me…" He stated happily. _'Wow, I've never seen hair the color of moonlight before…'_

The woman really was something! She had silver hair down to her waist, and it was very pretty. He had never seen hair that color on a young woman before. And the woman's eyes…

"Did you huwt yow eyes?" The boy inquired.

"Huh? No, why do you ask?" The woman inquired, clearly confused by the child's question.

"Cuz they awe da color of blood."

The eyes in question widened at the statement.

"How… what… How can you tell that? Kids aren't supposed to be able to… What the hell are you?" The woman growled and the boy cringed.

 _'Great… she will know I'm a freak now.'_ He sighed.

Well, the attention had been nice while it had lasted.

"I'm sorry Sweetie, I just… overreacted a little bit. I'm sure that you are perfectly…normal." The woman laughed, though the boy could tell it was nervous and, well, faked. "Would you like to come with me?" She asked with a sickly sweet smile and the boy stepped away.

"Um… no t'anks."

"Why not? I have some…"

"Step away from the child, Bloodsucker!" A deep, masculine voice came from behind the silver haired woman.

The boy watched as said woman turned around faster than he'd ever seen anyone move. Her kind demeanor gone, the green eyed child could see the woman bare her teeth at the man and…

 _'Are those fangs?'_ The child thought in wonder.

Sure, he had heard about vampires but… weren't those just myth? Stories to scare children and thrill adults?

The woman began to advance on the man and the boy wanted to help. He took a step forward, intent on trying to trip the woman up, but it was unnecessary. Before he even made it a second step there was a bright, blinding light and the silver haired lady disappeared with a horrifying scream.

 _'What… what just happened?'_ The boy wondered and noticed there was another woman. This one was different though. This new lady had black hair pulled up into a sophisticated hairdo, and she was holding a wooden stick. _'Can it be? Oh my! Can it be a real live vampire hunter?'_ Only a vampire hunter would have a wooden stake, right? _'That is so cool!'_

"Are you alright, little one?" The man asked, but the boy was still focused on the woman.

"Awe you… awe you a vampiuh huntuh?" The wide eyed child inquired and the woman smiled.

"Something like that. Where are your parents, little one? It is not safe here." At the woman's question, the child frowned.

"My pawent's awe dead, Ma'm."

The couple looked at each other for a moment before they turned their attention back to the child.

"Um… where are your guardians, little one?" The man asked and the child shrugged.

The boy hadn't a clue, honestly, so why try and explain? Besides, his family said not to try and find them so it was best he not tell anyone about the Dursleys. If he told these people, they would probably try and find his Aunt and Uncle and… He didn't really WANT anyone to find his family.

Being away from those people was nice, actually. Not having to worry about chores, or punishment, or lack of…

_'Oh, I will need food… maybe I should let these vampire hunters know what happened. Maybe they can find them. My Aunt and Uncle said I shouldn't come looking, they didn't say someone else couldn't.'_

"Um… Dey lef' me nex' to da clock and said not to find dem… But dey didn' say owers couldn'." The child smiled and the couple again shared a look.

"Are they nice?" The woman asked and the child shook his head.

"Not reawy." The child sighed and the woman's eyes narrowed.

 _'Uh oh… They're not gonna like me now.'_ The boy thought sadly.

"Then how about we be your family instead?"

"Zemi! We can't just…"

"Ry!" The woman cut the man off. "They abandoned this child with orders not to find them, there is no way I will take the child back to THAT." Zemi growled at the man and the boy looked at her wide eyed.

_'Is she… worried about me?'_

When the lady noticed the look the child was giving her she sighed and turned to him with a smile.

"Don't worry little one, I won't hurt you. What is your name?" Zemi asked and the child could tell by the look in her eyes that she was sincere.

There was just one problem…

"Mm not sure, Ma'm. A'nt and Unca call me boy or fweak." The boy responded and the woman glared.

"That settles it, you are not returning to those horrible people."

"Zemi…"

"Ry…"

"Meeting. Now." The man stated and walked a little ways away.

"Be right back, little one. Just hang tight and I will get you an ice cream after my husband and I talk a second. Okay?"

Green eyes widened and the boy nodded excitedly.

"Okay! I never had ice cweam befo'!" The raven haired child exclaimed happily.

The woman bit her lip as she looked at the child sadly. "We're going to have to fix that." She smiled before she turned and walked over to the man, leaving the boy with thoughts of the wonderful yummy cold food that his cousin would constantly eat in front of him.

Once his wife had joined him, Ry quickly threw up a privacy ward.

"Zemi, I know you are upset about not being able to have a child but… we can't just steal someone else's!"

"No, don't you see? Everything happens for a reason. His family abandoned him… think about it. We can take him, we can be his family and love him and…"

"But he's not one of us. Can you honestly handle the shame of supposedly having borne a Squib when the time comes?" Ry questioned and Zemi's bubble seemed to deflate a bit.

"Better the shame of having a Squib than no child at all." She hissed. A moment later she perked up and smiled at him. "Besides, he's the perfect age."

"Love…"

"And look at him! His coloring mirrors mine almost perfectly. Fixing his eyes will be easy, and we can blood adopt him so there are no questions. The goblins are great about keeping things confidential and..."

"Zemi..."

"No! I need this Ry… I cannot go home without… Please Ry. He needs people who care, who will give him a name and call him by it."

Rynell sighed. He knew it was a losing battle, and Zemi had a point. The boy had been abandoned apparently, and it seemed that his family didn't treat him well. But…

"Wait a second… What did he mean they call him freak?"


	2. New Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (How to say their names): Dark Serpent Cat mentioned that some people are curious as to the pronunciation of the names. Honestly, I meant to mention that earlier and forgot XD lol Thank you for pointing out my whoopsie! Lol
> 
> Zemirea (Zem - mere - ay ) Nickname: Zemi (Zem - me) Rynell (Rye - nell ) Nickname: Ry (Rye) Caesarea (Say - sar - ree - a) Nickname: 'Rea (Ree - a) … I hope those make it easier. Not sure how others pronounce them, but that's what they are in my mind XD lol And since they are my OCs, I'm right :P lmao

Word Count: 2049

oOoOoOo

Zemi practically tore down Ry's ward and walked over to the child. She was not about to let her husband try and talk her out of this. She had made up her mind, she was going to be a mother! Even if the boy was a "freak," she would be damned if she didn't have a little one to raise before this day was out.

 _'I have waited too long… I have suffered too much to give up now, especially when Fate is HANDING me what I want.'_ Zemi thought and knelt down before the little boy.

The woman could hear Rynell approach and basked in the comfort it brought her. She had missed him. It had been a hectic schedule to keep, even if he was a Wizard, trying to keep the business going and see her when she had been a continent away…

 _'But that's all about to change. We're coming home…'_ Zemi smiled and gently grasped the little boy's hand. "Are you hungry?" She asked.

It wouldn't do for him to just eat ice cream, after all. The child was skin and bones, he needed something to put some weight on him. It was better to make sure he ate some real food before she got him the frozen dessert.

 _'Though I will make sure he knows I do not go back on my word.'_ She thought when she noticed the confused look on his cute little face.

"Ice cweam?" The boy asked hesitantly, as if he expected her to laugh and tell him she was joking.

 _'Bloody monsters! How could they do this to a baby?'_ Zemi mentally sighed though she kept a smile on her face for the child's sake. _'No matter. He's mine now.'_

"We will get some ice cream, but that is a dessert. You need to eat some food first." The raven haired woman said happily, but the child's demeanor fell.

"Oh… I gwess I no have any den. I have to find my famwey befo' I can have food…" He paused. "Den again, dey wiw pwobwey be upset dat I didn' lissen and not lemme has any." The child spoke softly, as if he were telling himself what their reaction would be.

"Nonsense. Your family is right here, and all three of us are going to go to this lovely restaurant just a few blocks from here. After we eat, I will get you a big ice cream for dessert." She stated and lightly squeezed his hand in an attempt to drive her point home.

She knew he wouldn't be able to eat a large ice cream, and most would go to waste, but at this point the gesture would stand out in the child's mind.

"Reawey?" The boy squealed in delight while emerald eyes, much like her own, sparkled with hope.

"Really." She nodded and watched at the child pulled away a little bit to twirl around. Even Ry smiled in response to the boy's little happy dance.

Zemi stood up and held out her hand for the child to take. Her face lit up -showed how happy she was- when the boy took her hand with the trusting innocence that only a child could and they started down the sidewalk toward the diner she had spoken of.

Zemi knew Ry was right behind her, could feel his magic caressing her own… Though judging by his silence, the man was deep in thought.

 _'I do not mind. So long as he does not ruin this for me.'_ She thought and threw him a look over her shoulder. His magic felt loving, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try anything if he thought this was a bad idea.

Ry, however, smiled at her and nodded.

He understood.

_'Good.'_

oOoOoOo

Rynell had merely watched as Zemi tore down his ward. He knew she was upset and was more than happy to let her take it out on his harmless little spell. Besides, there were other things he need be concerned about.

Like the child, for instance. It was obvious that his wife wasn't about to give up on this idea she had in her mind. And if taking the child with them brought his love home? Well, who was he to object? The boy had been abandoned by his family, so there wouldn't be an issue.

_'And once we get him to Gringotts and blood adopt, no one will ever know he belonged to anyone else.'_

Though he would have to watch the papers and make sure that no one reported the child missing. It was highly doubtful considering the information the boy had given them, but he wanted there to be no threats to their claim.

_'Either that or, should they use a photo, we need to make sure no one would guess that the two are one in the same…'_

He had to think on that one. Before they left for home tomorrow, he would have a plan… or Zemi would once he brought the issue to her attention.

_'Yes, I should get her on that… and a name. Can't very well adopt the child without giving them a name.'_

"Here we are!" Zemi's exclamation brought him out of his musings and, sure enough, they stood before the quaint little eatery.

"Wow… pwetty." The child said in awe as they entered the building.

Everywhere there were ribbons and lace. The tables set with frilly doilies, pretty pink coasters, and lovely lavender napkins.

Ry's inner male was screaming in horror, and what did the boy say? Pretty?!

 _'The child's relatives did call him "boy," right? Maybe his attitude is why they called him freak...'_ Ry wondered as he shook his head.

"I love this place, don't you agree?" Zemi asked the child happily, already connecting with their newest addition.

"Yea! Is so pwetty, I wuv da cuwors!" The boy giggled happily.

_'Are we sure the child is male? I'll have to check when we get home.'_

"And tomorrow I will take you shopping for clothes. Those rags are unbecoming and you would do well to wear something befitting your station." Zemi grinned and Ry chuckled.

Too bad the child wasn't female. Zemi could have a lot more fun with that…

 _'That's it!'_ Regardless of whether or not the boy's relatives decided to look for him, if people were looking for a male… _'I shall run it by Zemirea.'_ It wouldn't do to make a decision without her.

Especially when it came to the kid. Rynell hadn't a doubt in his mind that his wife would hex him into next week if he were to do something to the child behind her back. Even if it were something as harmless as dressing the boy up to deceive everyone into thinking him a girl.

Besides, the kid acted like he was a girl trapped in a boy's body anyway. What with his love of lace, and frills, and…

"Sopping? I can go sopping? Yays! And I can has my own cwowes?" The child looked about ready to burst with excitement.

Yes, Ry didn't foresee there being an issue with passing the child off as a girl. The boy already acted the part. Though just to be sure, after he confirmed the plan with his wife, they would have to have a talk with the child and explain that life would be better for him as a girl.

One of the attendants ushered them to a lovely little booth. Rynell sighed as he sat down, mentally making a note to shower with the most testicle approved wash he owned when they returned home. Honestly, it wouldn't do for him to start questioning his masculinity...

"Would you like a coloring book little girl?" One of the waitresses asked their little ward and Ry smiled.

It looked like there wouldn't be any issues with passing the child off as a girl. The boy was already mistaken as one. All they needed to do was change a few minor details...

"Can I?" The child looked at Zemi to see if it was okay.

Before Ry could comment, however, Zemi's eyes lit up.

_'Oh dear, she has an idea… I can only pray this ends well.'_

"Yes, my daughter would love one." She told the waitress with a brilliant smile.

 _'Hmmm… it appears my wife and I are on the same page.'_ Thank Merlin.

"Okay! Sit tight Princess, I will be right back." The lady smiled and started to walk away. "Oh! I know this is a strange question, and I don't mean to be rude but…" The woman trailed off.

"Yes." Rynell raised an eyebrow inquiringly, curious as to what the Muggle would ask.

"Well, it appears that she had an… accident, and you had to dress her in what you could find in your car, right?" The blonde started and Ry nodded.

If that's what they wanted to believe, then he was more than happy to let them keep on thinking as much. It would be too bothersome to try and explain and he didn't feel like Obliviating the lot.

"Well, my sister is a designer and she brought me an outfit she made. If it's alright with you, Princess here can have it…" The woman trailed off.

The waitresses' offer was a little surprising and Rynell had to wonder…

"What's the catch?" He was a Slytherin, after all. Best to know all the details before accepting.

"Can I take a few pictures?" She started out slowly. "I think she would be a perfect model! I've been waiting to find a little girl who would do the outfit justice and I think your daughter is the one! I'll only take a few pictures for my sister's portfolio and your daughter can have a one of a kind Lula Special." The woman explained quickly and her eyes shined with hope.

"You have to admit dear, our little girl is too cute to resist." Zemi sent him a knowing smile, which caused him to chuckle.

"Very well." Rynell agreed.

"Thank you!" The waitress exclaimed. "Let me take your order real quick so I can put it in, and we can probably get this done before the cook is even finished!"

Rynell nodded. "I believe I will have your… "Sparkle lovers" special." Internally he shuttered at the name. He would have to do something very manly to make up for this, otherwise his testosterone levels might never recover.

"I will have the same." Zemi stated before she looked to their "daughter," who seemed confused. "She will have whatever the most popular kids meal is." His wife stated to the waitress, though her attention was on the child.

As soon as the lady was gone, Zemi leaned over to speak with said child.

"If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it alright? Just let us know and we will get something else." Zemi explained and the child nodded.

"I have a qwestion…" The boy started hesitantly, as if expecting to be punished for making an inquiry.

_'Bastards probably did punish him…'_

"Go ahead, dear. Asking questions is a good thing, it's how you learn." Ry stated firmly, yet he made sure to keep his tone friendly.

"Reawey? Cuz Unca said…"

"Forget what they said, you are with us now." Zemi cut in and the child looked at her with wide eyes for a moment before a small smile graced his features.

"T'ankies."

"As for your question…" Rynell prompted. His own curiosity was getting the best of him and he really wanted to know what they child would ask.

Granted, he had a feeling as to what it pertained but it would be more interesting to hear it from the boy himself.

"Um… why did she call me a giwl?"

Yes, that was the question he had been waiting for.

"You said your relatives called you a freak and you were not treated well, correct?" Zemi began and the child nodded. "Well, girls are treated a lot better than boys. AND your Aunt and Uncle wont be able to take you away from us if you pretend to be a girl." She explained.

"Reawey?"

"Really."

"Otay! I'll be a good giwl!"

"That's the spirit!" The waitress laughed as she entered the room.

Rynell eyed the outfit and cringed. Good thing the child had happily accepted posing as a girl from now on, otherwise the ensemble would likely have scarred him for life.

"Let's get you changed, Caesarea."

 _'Caesarea, hmm?'_ Ry mulled it over for a moment before a smirk graced his lips. _'Yes, a fine name. One worthy of a Pureblood.'_ Now all they needed to do was get to Gringotts and make it official.

But that could wait until tomorrow.

"We'll just get this headband on, I'll do up your hair and makeup a bit real quick and… Oh, we're going to have to cover up that scar. No worries!"

_'Glad the girls are having fun and leaving me out of it…'_

Wait a sec…

"What scar?"

oOoOoOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Uh oh, looks like they're about to find out their little "girl's" birth name XD lol Next chapter they will be going to Gringotts and the American version of Diagon Ally ~ That's going to be fun! Especially when they find out one of their "daughter's" unique traits XD lol
> 
> Goodbye Harry Potter! Hello Caesarea Noir!
> 
> Note: The town is mostly made up of Magicals and Squibs, with a nice little (notice I say this with sarcasm) Vampire Clan that's moved in recently. The couple lucked out and met quite possibly the only Muggle in the town but that will be expounded upon come next chapter...
> 
> In other news... there is a poll on my profile if you all would be so kind as to take a moment to vote. It's just asking what story I should focus on once my "Octoberfest" is over. Thankies!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has Reviewed, Followed, and Favorited! I really appreciate it and though I don't have time to respond to reviews like I had hoped I would, seeing as most of my spare time goes to writing, it doesn't mean I don't read them~ They make me smile and I love you all for it! ~


	3. Cover Story

Word Count: 2605

oOoOoOo

_'Our daughter is the Boy Who Lived.'_

Who would have thought? Actually no one would suspect that their "daughter" was the Potter scion, but if they were really going to risk keeping the boy and claiming him as their little girl… Well, there was a lot he and his wife needed to discuss.

Like a cover story. There had to be a background. Some reason as to why she and their "daughter" had been living state side for the last four years. And they needed to be able to explain away the child's boy parts should anyone happen to discover them.

Granted, when the child became of age they could take him to St. Mungos and have that taken care of with a potion, but it would be the boy's decision. Beyond that, the hospital would not allow anyone to change their gender until they reached their majority. It was a big decision, and the potion's effects were permanent. The procedure was not to be taken lightly so both recipe and potion were guarded fiercely.

The potion was out of the question for several years, so they would have to have a good excuse for the child's extra appendage.

 _'I wonder…'_ Yes, he had an idea… but would it be good enough? Could it protect all of them?

Rynell was a Slytherin through and through, which meant he was no fool. The gains of having the Boy Who Lived as his "daughter" could be huge, given the fact that the child would be a powerful magic user. But there was a down side. A MASSIVE down side.

They would have to hide WHO the child was.

Both he and his wife were from old Pureblood families. Sure, they were branch families that had lost any rights to claim the main sect, but it was their legacy. As such, they were constantly in contact with others who upheld to the "Old Ways." It wasn't like they could just disengage or distance themselves from their society, doing so would be extremely suspicious.

Besides, they were not Bloodtraitors.

_'Even if we are going to house the child who took down the Dark Lord.'_

It wasn't as if Ry and his wife had been Death Eaters or anything though. Yes, they were all for the Old Ways and honored their traditions, but they had never taken the Mark. They had never followed the Dark Lord, and had never gone after Muggles…

_'But those we associate with have.'_

They would have to have a fool proof alibi. A solid plan and a flawless cover. Because should they be discovered, things could be dangerous. Downright deadly, in fact.

_'Well, we will just have to make sure we're not caught then, won't we?'_

If someone had told him twenty four hours ago he would be hiding the bloody Boy Who Lived right under everyone's noses, he would have laughed and called the person insane. But after seeing the light in Zemi's eyes, to see her show excitement after so many years, Ry knew it would be more than worth it.

Now all they had to do was figure out the finer details. While Harry - or Caesarea as the child would be called from now on - slept, he and Zemi would create the cover story. Tomorrow, before they went to Gringotts, they would tell their "daughter" what "she" needed to know.

The child was bright, Ry had seen it for himself during the impromptu photo session. The boy had played the part of a girl brilliantly and had everyone fooled. Staff and guests alike had fawned over the child, declaring that "she" was the most lovely little girl they had ever seen.

The child cleaned up nicely, that was for certain. Once the woman had done up the boy's hair and makeup, the kid looked like a living doll.

 _'A Slytherin doll.'_ Ry thought with a chuckle.

Yes, he had been quite stunned to see that the dress was green and silver, just like his old House. A green base with lots of silver lace. A gorgeous piece really, for a girl, and the outfit had brought out the child's eyes spectacularly. It had made the boy…

_'No, if we're going to do this right the child is no longer a male, not even in our thoughts.'_

Right. The outfit made HER look like a perfect porcelain doll. So delicate and refined, yet shy and innocent. The sleeves covered her arms completely and flared out at the bottom. The cuffs, lined with lace, hid her hands entirely unless she wanted them to show.

The dress only came to the child's knees, but with black tights and silver shoes…

 _'Good thing Zemi managed to talk the Muggle out of a picture.'_ He would enjoy showing his daughter off. Perhaps other Purebloods would invite them to events in an attempt to introduce their sons to the little beauty. _'This is going to become increasingly amusing. Dangerous, but amusing nonetheless.'_

Speaking of the woman who had seen the child's scar… Luckily the waitress had been, quite possibly, the only Muggle in the whole town. She hadn't known what the scar on the child's head meant, and she had done a perfect job of concealing the blemish. The diner had been empty when she had mentioned the mark, and no one had overheard, so Ry didn't foresee there being any issues.

Of course, regardless of whether she would cause complications or not, Ry hadn't taken the chance and had Obliviated that particular memory once the woman had finished with Caesarea's makeup.

They could never be too careful.

"Can you believe it?" Zemi asked when she entered the living room and effectively collapsed into the recliner across from his own. "The Boy Who Lived, abandoned. Dumbledore is going to flip!" She laughed.

Sure, they might not be followers of the Dark Lord, but it didn't mean they liked the old coot either.

"Do you think, by chance, he might have a heart attack?" Ry inquired, his tone the same as one he would use should he be asking about the weather.

"If we're lucky." Zemi smiled sweetly. "Preferably in public. At a big event." She added with a laugh.

Pureblood raised or not, his wife had always been rather… candid. Sure, she could socialize with the best of them and hold her own at events, but she had always been herself around him. Quite frankly, he loved his little Slytherin Lioness.

"I can only hope our daughter will turn out to be like you." Ry stated softly.

Yes, it would be best for the child. To be able to blend in when needed, but still be able to express oneself while in the company of those they trust. That's what he wanted for any children they may have…

"So… we have a name, a disguise, and the child is all for it. What are we going to tell everyone?" Zemi asked.

All joking aside, they really did need to get down to business. They didn't have long if they wanted to get some sleep before their trip to Anom Alley. They would have to take their little 'Rea to Intellectu Alley, and pick up some clothes and other supplies at Abnorm Alley while they were at it. It would look strange if they arrived in Britain and their child had nothing.

"Tomorrow while I take care of some business, why don't you take 'Rea shopping?" Ry smiled as he watched the way his wife's eyes lit up.

"Oh! She is to wear nothing but dresses! After seeing her tonight in her new outfit, it would be criminal not to doll her up all the time. Though I will need to get some Seal o' Skin…"

"Seal o' Skin?" Why would his wife need that? It was used to adhere to the skin so it was as if a person never had any wrinkles or scars… "The scar!" Ry nearly smacked himself on the forehead, but refrained.

His wife might be candid, but he had been raised to a lot stricter standards.

"Yes, rather than her taking the time to apply makeup and chance being caught, she could just quickly smack on one of those every day. Besides that, Seal o' Skin can last through just about anything whereas makeup runs at the first sign of moisture."

Merlin his wife was brilliant!

"And how to explain away our daughters male appendage?" Ry inquired, wondering if they might be on the same page once more in regards to the child's gender issue…

"Why, love, it is the reason we remained state side all this time. Our lovely child was born a hermaphrodite. We didn't want to decide for the child which gender they would be, regardless of certain features, so while you took care of things back home I took care of our child here." Zemi smiled and Ry nodded in agreement.

Yes, that was actually better than his idea…

"Though it was hard, we had agreed not to speak of it, not to talk about our child. We agreed not to tell anyone whether we had a son or a daughter because, at the time, we had both yet neither. We patiently waited until the child showed a definite sign of what gender they would be comfortable being and… viola! We have a daughter."

Ry had to hand it to her, despite her outbursts and downright Gryffindor nature, Zemi was a brilliant Slytherin.

"I think that covers everything. Now all we need do is go to Gringotts and enlist their assistance."

"I can't wait to see Axerod!" His wife exclaimed happily. "Do you think you could take 'Rea to get some books while Axerod and I play a game or two of gobstones?"

"To keep on that goblin's good side? Certainly. I wouldn't be surprised if he had been in one of those goblin wars Professor Binns used to drone on and on about."

"He's been in two, actually." She shrugged.

_'Well that explains a lot.'_

"He's got a pretty scary reputation among the goblins."

"No wonder they all cater to his every whim." Ry chuckled.

"Yep! And hence why it is best to keep the man happy." Zemi joined in his mirth.

Merlin he had missed her laughter.

"Well, let us get to bed my dear. We have a long day ahead of us." Ry stated as he got up and offered his elbow for Zemi to take.

"That we do, love." She responded as she got to her feet and took her husband's arm. "But first, how about we do a little celebrating." And with that she pulled her husband into the bedroom with little protest.

Honestly, what man in his right mind would be against THAT?

oOoOoOo

Caesarea was a very happy child. He had slept on a bed! A REAL bed. With fluffy covers and soft pillows and everything!

Not only that, but he had a name. A real name, not just boy or freak. Those weren't names, they were nouns. And they weren't nice ones either.

The only catch was he had to be a girl, but the child was fine with that. If it meant being loved and having a family that cared for him, then he was all for it!

 _'Right, can't think of myself as a boy any more. I'm a girl, so I have to think of myself as one.'_ The child nodded to "herself." _'Besides, I get to dress up and have pretty things.'_ She thought about the dress the waitress had given her last night and how everyone had shown her attention.

Yes, if being a girl meant that people would treat her like a Princess, then she would be more than happy to oblige.

 _'And mum said that the Dursleys wont be able to take me away if I'm a girl!'_ The child was no fool, she understood that IF her relatives even searched for her they would be looking for the "boy." If she wasn't a boy, there wouldn't be one to find.

A simple fix, yes, but one nobody would anticipate. All things considered, 'Rea was sure she would love being a Noir!

 _'Oh! Mum and Dad said they would take me shopping today!'_ She thought happily and hopped out of bed.

The sun had just barely started to light the sky, though it would be another good half hour before the Morning Star rose above the horizon. Just enough time for 'Rea to make them some breakfast!

'Rea made her way to the bedroom door, not caring that she was still in her pajamas, and slipped out without making a sound. As many times as she had done this at the Dursleys, she knew she was good and her new family wouldn't have to worry about her needlessly waking them up.

 _'Now to find the kitchen.'_ 'Rea thought happily and quietly made her way through the house.

If she wasn't mistaken, the area in question wouldn't be too terribly far from the living room. She had glimpsed a dining area when they had briefly visited the family room last night, before mum had put her to bed, and usually the kitchen was connected to it.

 _'Bingo!'_ She smiled, proud that she was so clever as to find the kitchen without any help. _'Now to get to work on breakfast.'_ She then went about trying to locate the refrigerator.

Only there wasn't one.

 _'Well that's strange. Where do they keep their eggs and stuff?'_ The child was confused, to say the least, but would not be deterred! She would find something to fix for her family, she wouldn't let them think she was a bad girl that couldn't do her chores.

"Wat be yous doins, Mees?" A voice she didn't recognize came from behind and 'Rea turned to greet the newcomer.

"I was jus…" She paused when she got a look at the person.

But it wasn't really a person. It was a… creature, for lack of a better word, that stood no taller than she did. Their skin tone was kind of… off, and the thing was all wrinkly. Not to mention their eyes were HUGE and resembled Uncle Vernon's tennis balls.

"Wat awe yow?" She asked without thinking.

 _'Bad 'Rea! Asking questions is… oh wait, Dad said it was good to ask questions.'_ She mentally shrugged and just hoped that she wouldn't be punished for her inquiry.

"I bees a House Elf, Mees!" The creature answered proudly and 'Rea cocked her head to the side, as if looking at the creature from a different angle would help her come to terms with WHAT exactly she was looking at.

 _'I know my speech isn't the best, but this "House Elf" talks like I did when I was TWO.'_ To a point at least.

She knew her sentence structure was more like that of adults now, whereas a few years ago she had practically just put random words together. But she had listened. Whether it be just everyday talk, or when Uncle Vernon had his "upper class" clients over, she had listened.

She found that just listening worked wonders, and was more effective than asking questions… well, in her experience at any rate. Judging by Dudley, who was ALLOWED to ask questions, her intelligence and learning methods far surpassed his.

Not to mention other things she had come to notice by just observing. Questions tended to put people on guard and make them tense. Just hearing someone out, however, allowed them to be at ease. And a relaxed person was much more likely to be forthcoming with the information one desired.

'Rea looked at the House Elf and smiled. Yes, it was best to listen.

"Tell me abou' yowself."

oOoOoOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I meant to get them to Anom Ally in this chapter… Whoops. Oh well, something to look forward to next time. Lol
> 
> I took a page from J K Rowling in the Alley naming area. If you noticed, Knocturn Alley (Nocturnally) and Diagon Alley (diagonally) are kind of "play on words" while being the words, in a sense. So Anom Alley (anomaly), Intellectu Alley (intellectually), and Abnorm Alley (abnormally). Just wanted to explain my thinking. Thought I was being clever XD lol Especially considering the meanings… But I'm probably just being a dunce. Ah well, at least I'm having fun!
> 
> Next time: The family's cover story is put to the test a bit sooner than they had planned and Axerod has a plan…


	4. A Star is Born

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta is on vacation... all fuck ups are mine and I have no Sapphyre to catch them for me T.T lol Sorry ^^;;

Word Count: 3032

oOoOoOo

Zemi had awakened shortly after dawn… well, at least as soon as the damn sun decided to shoot it's doom rays through the window and BLIND her.

Nevertheless! She was up, moving and completely psyched about taking her daughter out shopping!

"Punkin." She called out once she had left the bedroom.

She would let 'Rea and Ry sleep in while she got ready. In the meantime she would see to it that their little House Elf, Punkin, would whip up a delightful breakfast for three. With anything and everything her daughter could want, mind you.

"Punkin?" Well that was odd. Usually the little thing answered in an instant and was hopping about as she waited for her orders. "Punkin!" Still no answer. _'Well this just wont do! I hope the little thing is okay…'_ Their little Elf was still just a kid after all.

Well, technically Punkin was a teenager… but comparably speaking, the Elf was a child.

"She might be in the middle of cooking and just doesn't want to burn anything." That was a good possibility.

Actually, that was more than likely the case. After all, when they first got Punkin she had delayed in responding on several occasions for just such a reason.

"I will just go and see to it that she makes up a kid friendly menu as well." She smiled and made her way to the kitchen.

When Zemi entered the room, however, she froze.

There, cooking right alongside Punkin, was her daughter. From the looks of it 'Rea was quite familiar with the chore.

_'If I ever see those Muggles, I will hand them over to the Death Eaters. With bells on!'_

Yes, she didn't like the implications of 'Rea's ease in the kitchen one bit.

Alas, there was little she could do about it now aside from…

_'Wait. She is cooking with Punkin. She is not freaking out about a House Elf… Yet she was, apparently, raised by Muggles…'_ Now she had to wonder how long the child had been up, and if she had slept through the girl's freak out session. _'Or did she have one at all?'_

"Good mownin' mum. Bwekfas' wiw be weady soon!" 'Rea stated happily and Zemi smiled.

"You know, you do not have to cook 'Rea… In fact, I would prefer it if you did not. That is Punkin's job."

"Punkin Princess ish always welcoms to come sees Punkin!" The House Elf exclaimed happily in an attempt to try and make the child feel wanted, while at the same time they were kicking her out of the kitchen.

"Come along 'Rea, let's get ready to go shopping while Punkin finishes breakfast. Then we can eat and head out."

"Otay!" 'Rea giggled and handed the spatula to Punkin.

"Punkin like Princess!" The House Elf let her opinion be known before she got back to work.

"Le's go?" 'Rea inquired and tentatively raised her hand, almost as if she were worried Zemi wouldn't take it.

_'She shall learn soon enough.'_ Zemi thought and gently took the child's small hand. "I will always hold your hand when you need me to." She stated reassuringly and 'Rea smiled her thanks.

Yes, she and Ry had a lot of work to do. The mere fact that their little 'Rea had thought she was supposed to cook for the family proved as much, but they had to be delicate about the situation. It would not do to alienate the child or force her outside of her comfort zone.

_'One step at a time.'_

And the next step was shopping!

oOoOoOo

_'Merlin help me.'_ Ry thought as he followed along behind his female counterpart and their little girl.

He was dignified as ever on the outside, but internally he feared that today would be a repeat of last night. He didn't think his masculinity could survive yet another "Frilly Lily Café" and their "Sparkle Specials." The girls could have at it, he would kindly bow out and hide in Intellectu Alley.

Of course he'd never admit to HIDING but, well… He was sure he could come up with an excuse as to why he wouldn't be able to join them for lunch. They had to go to Gringotts first anyway, then he would take 'Rea to Intellectu Alley while Axerod and his wife played gobstones for a bit, and after that Zemi would join them for lunch…

_'I will then explain that I have some business to attend to,'_ Which was true, _' apologize for not joining them, and tell them to enjoy themselves while I am off working…'_ Yes, that sounded like a wonderful idea.

"This is Gringotts, 'Rea. The bank we were telling you about." His wife's voice brought him out of his musings and he watched as she pointed out the massive building to their child.

Ry was somewhat concerned when 'Rea didn't really show much response aside from a nod. He had been impressed when he got here, and he was a full grown adult who had seen Britain's Gringotts.

Like the one housed in London, this branch of Gringotts was big and white. But unlike the one back home, the American version looked like a replica of the White House… With a gold top.

"See the creatures guarding the doors? Those are goblins."

Those goblins were the reason there was a gold top on the building. The creatures loved the stuff and were more than happy to show it.

Yet even the shiny top didn't get a response out of their daughter. Not even a little gasp.

_'That is not normal.'_ Ry thought sadly, knowing that the child's "relatives" probably had something to do with her lack of reaction. _'To remain so calm in the face of adversity and surprises will be a good thing… in the FUTURE. Not now…'_

" 'Rea, love, why so quiet?" Zemi asked in an attempt to get the girl talking as they entered the building.

"Jus' twakin' ehweyting in." Something clicked in Ry's mind at the kid's response.

"Let me guess… you reserve judgment and action until you can calmly make sense of it?"

Big green eyes looked up at him and Ry smiled. Though the girl didn't admit it, that was precisely what she did.

_'She will make a brilliant Slytherin.'_ He couldn't help but think she would one day end up in the same House he and his wife had been sorted into.

"Lady Noir! So good to see you…" Axerod began as he made his way toward them, surprising everyone in the room.

It was a well known fact that goblins weren't the friendliest of creatures. To have a goblin greet a witch, and HAPPILY, was a rare sight indeed.

_'What can I say? My wife is amazing.'_

Axerod looked at Caesarea and nodded in approval as a smirk pulled at his lips. The goblin pointedly glanced at a group of people and Ry recognized them as being from Britain. More specifically, Britain born Purebloods who were likely here on vacation.

_'Uh oh.'_ Ry could only pray that they had time to hide…

The group turned to look at Axerod and Ry's family. Obviously they were as curious as everyone else as to who the goblin had greeted much like one would an old friend.

Seemed he and his family had become the center of attention.

_'This could be bad.'_

"Finally! I was wondering when you would see fit to introduce me to your daughter. Four years, woman! Four years is much too long to hide away such a beauty." Axerod mock scolded and Ry nearly sighed in relief.

Being on a goblin's good side had its advantages it seemed. Because, if Ry wasn't mistaken, the goblin had specifically made a spectacle of things just to put them in the spotlight. Or, to be more precise, bring attention to their child and the fact they had one.

"Ah, and you brought the man of the house." Axerod huffed. "Did you really have to? I'd much prefer to be surrounded by you lovely ladies for the rest of the day." The goblin smirked and 'Rea giggled.

_'He's good.'_ Ry smiled. Hey, if the goblin could make his daughter laugh, he wasn't about to say anything to upset the guy.

"Alas, I suppose we could engaged in some man talk for a while." Axerod sighed as he walked over to stand by Ry. "We may want to move away a little bit." He whispered.

"Why?" Ry asked in an equally low tone.

"Zemirea! It's been ages, how have you been?" An Italian woman broke away from the group of Purebloods and came towards them.

"That's why." Axerod huffed. Apparently the goblin was torn between being proud of himself for his plan coming together, or being put out by the fact that there were more people around. Time was wasting and time is money, and goblins hated losing money.

"So is this where you have been hiding out?" The lovely Italian woman inquired in a playful tone once she was closer to his wife.

He could see the dark beauty looking their daughter over and knew what this was about.

_'Apparently she's the one that lost the draw and has been sent to figure out the details… I just pray that our cover story holds together seeing as it's all so new.'_ Though Ry was apprehensive, he had faith in their "daughter."

After all, she didn't want to go back to her relatives so he was certain their Slytherin addition would perform brilliantly.

"Stella? Stella Zabini?" Zemi pretended to be shocked to see the woman.

Had Ry been anyone else, it would seem like genuine surprise, but he knew his wife. She had a love of flair and dramatics from time to time.

"Goodness! It has been a long while. I have been wonderful, and how have you been?" His wife smiled and greeted the other woman in standard Pureblood form.

"I have been good." Stella smiled and looked at 'Rea. "And who might you be? You know, you look just about my son's age."

Ah, it seemed Ry's initial thoughts had been wrong. The Zabini woman hadn't lost a contest and been sent over to check things out. No, the woman had decided to get some details and scope things out for her own gain.

It was every Pureblood's desire to make a dream match for their child, after all. Though the Noir family was not high on the social scale, a child who was already showing great promise in the looks department was worth investigating. One had to admit, regardless of gender, 'Rea was stunning.

"Hewo" 'Rea curtseyed prettily to the woman, which impressed everyone watching.

_'Wonder where she learned that…'_

"My nam' is Caesawea No-aw, ma'm" 'Rea introduced herself courteously, her pronunciation was just adorable and had everyone who was observing the exchange smiling.

"My, what wonderful manners!" The Zabini woman exclaimed in honest shock.

Even for a Pureblood raised child, 'Rea acted exceptionally well behaved and polite.

_'Must be because of her "relatives"… It is a shame she had to endure their treatment, but I believe it shall work in her favor.'_

"What a delightful young lady you are!" Stella praised the little girl. "You must be so proud." The dark woman smiled as she looked back at Zemi. "I must admit, I am a bit surprised. You see, in Britain there was a rumor going around that you were without a child… that you had lost your baby." Her voice had taken on a softness that, though false, was appreciated… or would have been should they not have their daughter.

"As you can see, my little Caesarea is just fine. Though there was a slight… issue." Zemi began and her well placed pause caught the other woman's attention.

"Issue?" Zabini inquired, though it was apparent to Ry that she wasn't the only one interested in the answer.

_'What luck. All the rumors of our "childless" status will be defused by the time we return by the looks of things.'_ Though Ry was certain there would be even more rumors and questions thanks to their cover story, it was far better than what had been going around.

"Yes. 'Rea here… well, it is extremely rare but we had to wait until she decided what gender she wished to be…" He could tell his wife was deliberately being evasive, but he knew it would make the exchange seem more REAL to the people around them.

"What gender she wished to be?" A pale, black haired woman questioned as she decided to join their little group.

Ry wasn't sure how he felt about the Parkinson matriarch being so near to their "daughter." What with her husband having been a Death Eater and all, even if he hadn't been convicted of such.

But Ry knew he needed to remain calm. It wouldn't do to give the child's identity away by doing something foolish… such as worrying over nothing.

"Yes, it's a rare condition but we didn't want to force 'Rea to be one or the other. When she is of age she will be able to permanently decide one way or another…"

Understanding dawned on the faces of both females and they lit up at the realization. 'Rea being a hermaphrodite meant that both their children had a chance at the little beauty. And if anyone needed some looks infused into their bloodline, it would be the Parkinson family…

_'Or the Crabbe family… or Goyles… or Bulstrodes.'_ Actually, there was a chance that several families would be after their child's hand…

"A hermaphrodite? My, that IS extremely rare." Lady Parkinson commented and gave Lady Zabini a look that said "my daughter could make the child wish it were male in a heart beat."

"Yes, it is. No wonder you've stayed here so long. It must have been tough waiting for her to show signs of preference." Zabini's tone was one of sympathy, but the look she sent to Lady Parkinson was damn near hostile. "It must be a relief for you now that you know she PREFERS being female." Even though she had been speaking to his wife, it was obviously directed at Parkinson.

"You never know." Parkinson shrugged. "It depends on who wins little 'Rea's heart."

_'Oh… this is going to be amusing.'_

Good news? Their child and cover story had been accepted flawlessly. Bad news? It appeared their daughter would be the center of the marriage battles Purebloods were known to have. Well, the fights known to those within the circles at any rate.

_'Those battles can get ugly.'_ Luckily the child everyone was after was never harmed.

Truth be told, usually the desired child ended up pretty well off… no need for his family to worry.

_'And if they are busy trying to earn her favor, then they will be more likely to overlook a few things.'_ Yes, this was a very good thing indeed.

"Nonsense. Such a pretty little girl should enjoy it!" Zabini brushed Parkinson off. "In fact, I believe she could be a model."

"THAT'S where I know her from!" Some woman in the crowd exclaimed.

"That's the little girl who was doing a photo shoot at Frilly Lily Café last night!" Another lady agreed and the whole bank started talking at once.

"You're right. Look, she's modeling one of the outfits."

_'There was only one outfit… But, if they want to believe there were several then I'm not going to correct them.'_ Besides, if they believed she was showing off one of many outfits then no one would question why she currently only had one dress…

"Your daughter is a model?"

_'Oh, brilliant. Now the Malfoys are involved.'_

"Just recently she started showing off a bit, no big deal." Zemi made a gesture as if she were waving it off as nothing.

"She's adorable and so well behaved. I would love to have her model a few things for my shop, should you be interested." One lady said as she seemed to come out of nowhere. The brunette smiled and handed his wife a card. "I've designed a whole new line of children robes and dresses I need modeled, and since she has experience..."

Oh, this was getting deep… and complicated.

"As much as I am sure Lady Noir would love to show her little beauty off, this IS a place of business." Axerod cut in, bringing everyone's attention back to the fact they were standing around the bank.

A bank full of irate goblins who did not appreciate being ignored.

Apparently Axerod had become bored of just standing alongside Ry as they watched the scene unfold…either that, or he had decided to have mercy on his fellow goblins.

"Her name is Lady Zemirea Noir, and you can owl her. Right now, however, she is on MY time." Axerod stated haughtily and offered his elbow to 'Rea. "Now my dear, why don't we all adjourn to my office?"

'Rea smiled and took the offered arm without hesitation. "Le's." She agreed with a nod.

"Yes, let us be off." Zemi nodded. "I would be happy to discuss this further with you at another time." She informed the brunette designer.

"Sounds lovely." The designer smiled and bowed out of the small congregation.

Zemi smiled brightly before she turned toward the Pureblood ladies and their group. "It has been wonderful seeing you again. Perhaps we can get together at a later date? Now that 'Rea is older, we shall be returning to England."

"Sounds splendid." Lady Malfoy answered for the group. "Do owl me as soon as you arrive home. There are several parties I have planned and I would be delighted should your family attend."

_'Translation: You should bring your daughter to meet my son. I want to show everyone that our families are on good terms and my son has the best chance at winning her over.'_

Yes, there would never again be a dull moment for he and his wife…

_'Just one of the joys of being a father.'_

"Move it." Right. His ladies might be liked by Axerod, but Ry was still the male "tag along" as far at the goblin was concerned.

_'No matter.'_

oOoOoOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Son of a… Okay, seriously, they will be going to Anom Alley next chapter! Even if I have to twist my muses' arm XD lol
> 
> Thank you everyone who has reviewed, kudos, and all that good stuff! I really appreciate you! ~ You all make my day :D Thankies!


	5. Under New Management

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dealing with goblins can be tricky, but not for a family of Slytherins... Deals are made and "Doll" is born!

Chapter Five: Under New Management

Word Count: 1959

oOoOoOo

"Let me get this straight... You want me to lie, forge a birth certificate, and perform a blood adoption ritual in complete and utter secrecy?"

When the goblin put it that way, one had to admit... it sounded really bad.

 _'But it's for the best.'_ It was in the best interest of not only he and his wife, but for the child as well. No, for their FAMILY as a whole.

There was no way, in good conscious, that they could give the child back to the relatives who had abandoned her. Caesarea was theirs, and she would remain such no matter what means they had to use!

Besides, everyone thought she belonged to the Noir family anyway.

"Oh! And let's not forget getting a Healer to sign off and say the child is a hermaphrodite. That's going to be fun. You know what I have to say to all this?" Axerod asked and Ry cringed.

From what he knew of goblins, he wasn't sure he really wanted to hear what the scary bastard had to say. But, alas, he needed to protect his family and he would use any means necessary.

"You're lucky I have friends in high places and a Healer that owes me a favor."

He and his wife sighed in relief, but the child just stared at the goblin.

"Yes dear?" The goblin inquired upon noticing the child's questioning gaze.

It was a strange thing to witness, but it appeared the goblin honestly liked the child. Most of the time the creatures couldn't seem to stand kids, but 'Rea...

 _'One can't help but love the girl.'_ Ry could only hope that it all would work in their favor. More importantly, he hoped the goblin liked their little girl enough to do everything in his power to help her.

"Wats da cwech?" 'Rea asked the goblin with a raised brow and Axerod laughed, an honest to Merlin laugh!

"You're a bright one!" Axerod praised once he had calmed down a bit. "I like you kid. And yes, there is a catch. I can't go calling in favors for free you know." The creature smirked.

"As you know, Axerod, we're not the most wealthy of Purebloods..." Zemi started hesitantly.

Sure, they were well off and all their needs were met; Ry's company made him more than enough galleons to keep his family comfortable, their new addition included. But Pureblood or not, they were not anywhere near as rich as the Malfoys and their ilk.

"You can be." Axerod's comment caused Rynell pause.

Was the goblin actually suggesting that they could be on par with the Main Pureblood houses?

"It's not possible."

"Sure it is... if you have the right manager." Axerod shrugged.

"Manawga?" 'Rea inquired, open curiosity on her face.

_'This is an improvement. Perhaps we should visit Axerod more often if he is able to coax her out of her shell.'_

"Yes. Did you like showing off your pretty dress while the lady took pictures last night?" The creature looked directly at 'Rea as he spoke, and the girl seemed happy to be treated as if she were an adult or something.

"Yes! Vewey much!"

"Would you like to do it again?"

"Yes pwease." 'Rea answered happily.

Axerod looked between Ry and Zemi with a smirk. "And there you have it. Models can make a lot of money, in both the Wizarding AND Muggle Worlds." Here he gave a toothy grin. "If they have a good manager of course."

Ry and Zemi exchanged a look before they stared at the goblin. It was hard to believe that something so simple could help their family gain so much. But would 'Rea really be up for it?

"Are you sure you would want to do that, 'Rea? It's a lot of work." Zemi explained to the child.

"As wong as I get to stay wiff my famiwey, I am aw fo' it!"

"That's what I want to hear!" Axerod exclaimed happily.

"An' dis is fun, not wike da chowes da Dursweys made me do aw da time."

"That's something I didn't want to hear." Axerod grumbled and took down a note, more than likey jotting down her "relative's" name for future reference. Gods have mercy on the Muggles' souls, because if the goblin got to them...

Ry would be sure to request memories for his pensive.

"But yes, with that attitude I'm sure you will have lots of fun!" The goblin exclaimed in an attempt to draw the conversation away from... darker territory. Ry was sure the man would be drilling the couple for information later.

Modeling... That was an interesting career choice for a child. The good news concerning the idea would be that, should 'Rea become popular and the people love her, they would be more likely to overlook any flaws. Bad news? Popularity and fame could be a double edge sword.

"Trust me, with my coaching and managing skills, you'll be the most beloved girl out there. You will need a stage name though..."

"Dawl?"

"Dawl?" Axerod repeated with a confused look on his face before it dawned on him. "Doll? Perfect!" He exclaimed as he rubbed his hands together. "This is going to be my most entertaining venture yet." He chuckled.

"How did you come up with that name, 'Rea?" Ry had to ask.

"Dats wat pwepole cawled me wast night." The child answered and Ry nodded.

Hell, even he had thought to call the child "Doll" the evening prior. In fact he had mentally commented that she was a Slytherin Doll in her outfit, so it was a rather fitting nickname...

_'Or stage name, as the case may be.'_

"One problem." Zemi commented as she looked at Axerod.

"And what would that be?" The goblin inquired, cocking his head to the side.

"We're going back to England." Zemi began before a bright smile lit up her face. "So since I will have to send Punkin ahead of us to get the guest room ready, you won't have anyone to help you pack."

Axerod's jaw dropped for a moment before he composed himself once more and smirked.

"Well played, Zemi. A Slytherin through and through, regardless of some of your tendencies..."

"Ah, but the mark of a true Slytherin is the ability to blend in or stand out whenever the situation calls for it."

"Yes." Ry nodded. "A true Slytherin can adapt to any scenario." He agreed, though his eyes were on their daughter and not his wife.

_'If anyone is the epitome of our House, I believe it's that child.'_

oOoOoOo

"This is the ritual room. You ready, Doll?" The goblin asked and 'Rea looked at him with a smile.

 _'Whatever it takes.'_ The saying had become her mantra and she was sticking to it.

After all, there was no way she was going back to those horrible... what had her mum called them?

_'Muggles.'_

Right! There was no way she would willingly go back to THEM, those Muggles. Not when she had a lovely family right here who WANTED her and didn't care that she was a freak.

_'They never really did ask my why the Dursleys called me a freak...'_

Not that she was complaining. If her new mum and dad wanted to know, she would tell them. However, she wasn't going to willingly volunteer the information. That was just asking for trouble as far as she was concerned.

"Alright 'Rea, just stand here in this circle and we will do the rest." Her mum stated and 'Rea nodded.

_'I'm not sure what exactly they're doing, but I know mum said it was so that no one can take me away... Oh! Wonder what Punkin is going to make for dinner...'_

More importantly, would mum allow her to help? Mum had told her that she didn't NEED to cook for the family, but... well she was just so used to it she wasn't sure she could stop. Not completely at any rate. Besides, she really did enjoy making sweets! Baking was like an art, and she truly had fun mixing up delicious concoctions.

_'Does the house we are moving to have a garden?'_

That's something else she wanted to ask. She hoped her mum would let her work in the garden... Or better yet, let her play! She had loved going outside at the Dursleys. Her cousin never let her have any friends, but he couldn't keep her from hanging out with the little snakes who would wander into the garden from time to time.

 _'They were more than happy to talk to me!'_ So maybe the snakes in the new place would be talkative as well? She sure hoped so! "Oh!" Rea cried out in shock when she felt a strange tingle go through her body.

Actually, it kind of reminded her of a few occasions at the Dursleys...

_'Usually when something weird happened and they called me a Freak because of it.'_

"Are you alright, Doll?" Axerod asked in concern.

"Ting'old." Rea replied with a shrug.

"That's... normal." The goblin said hesitantly.

"If it is normal, why did you say it like that?" Ry asked from where he stood at Rea's back.

 _'When did he get over there?'_ She must have been deep in thought to have missed, well... everything. 'Gotta watch not to do that again.' No, one must always be aware of their surroundings. Bad things happened when people didn't pay attention.

"Well, it is normal for older children..." Her new "manager" trailed off.

"No worries. I'll get the details once I trounce you at gobstones." Zemi smiled sweetly from in front of Rea, but everyone could see the fiery challenge in her eyes.

Axerod coughed and Rea could swear she heard him say "doubtful."

"What was that?" Her mum questioned and the goblin actually looked slightly worried.

"Damn, females are scary regardless of race. No wonder I never married." Axerod grumbled and everyone laughed, Rea included.

She wasn't entirely certain of what was so funny, but everyone else was laughing and she couldn't help herself. She just felt so... wonderful!

"The ritual is complete. Every tapestry should show her as your descendent and tests for inheritance will recognize her as an heir to the House of Noir. HOWEVER, be mindful of heredity potions. It would list you as her adoptive parents and would reveal her true lineage..." Axerod stated gravely and both of Rea's new parents nodded in understanding.

The goblin then turned towards her and smiled. "Caesarea Didina Noir, you are now and forever the child of Rynell Sagittarius Noir and Zemirea Imani Noir nee Ollivander. Any questions?"

Rea stared at the goblin wide eyed before she nodded.

"What do you wish to know?"

"Mm no' gonna have ta say der nams for a widdle, wight?" The child asked, her tone bordering on panic.

"Say our names?" Rynell wondered aloud and Zemi laughed.

"Your middle name, dear. Can you imagine trying to pronounce that at her age?"

Ry blinked and Rea started to feel a lot better. It was obvious they didn't expect her to be able to say their names... not for a while, at any rate. She made a mental note to work extra hard on her speech, and learning in general, so she could make her parents proud.

"Oh, and like your maiden name is any easier?" Ry countered his wife with a smirk before he smiled at their little girl. "Mum and Dad is fine for now, Rea. Just knowing what our names are should be good enough, seeing as we will never require you to call us by them."

The child sighed in relief before a brilliant smile lit up her face.

"Can we go expwore, Dad?"

"Good idea, Doll!" Axerod praised and Ry smiled in approval. "Get the boy outta my hair..." He motioned towards Ry, "even if I have none." He chuckled and rubbed his bald head.

"I don' wike dat werd." Rea commented softly with a sigh.

"Pardon?" At the goblin's question, however, the girl flinched.

"She doesn't like that word. Boy, right Rea? You don't like that word?" Zemi inquired and Rea nodded in response to her mum's question.

Axerod looked at Zemi with a raised brow.

"I will explain over gobstones." Zemi stated before she smiled and walked over to kneel in front of her daughter. "Now you and Daddy go out and have fun, okay? Be a good girl and stay close to your Dad for me."

"Otay!" Rea smiled.

"That's my girl!" Zemi smiled and hugged the raven haired child. Green eyes met smaller emerald orbs as she whispered, "and maybe you can talk him into taking you to see the animals! You would like that, wouldn't you? I'm sure if you ask nicely, Daddy will get you a pet."

Rea nodded enthusiastically. She had never been allowed into the pet store before, much less have one! She had always been forced to stay out in the car while Dudders enjoyed looking around. And while Dudley had been taken to the zoo, TWICE, the Dursleys had never so much as put her in the automobile to take with them.

The only animals she had been in contact with were Mrs. Figgs cats, Aunt Marge's horrid dog, and the lovely serpents who visited the garden.

"Yays! Aminols!" Rea squealed in delight and ran to her dad. "Can we see aminols?"

"Yes, let us leave your mother to pry information from Axerod over a friendly game while we amuse ourselves by observing the animals." Ry nodded and gently took Rea's hand as they made their way to the door.

"One question..." Zemi's voice caused Rynell pause and he looked over his shoulder at his wife in askance. "Do you even know where you're going?" She inquired and Rea giggled when her Dad's eyes widened slightly.

Apparently her Daddy hadn't a clue.

oOoOoOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes, Ry has been to Anom Alley before. No, he hasn't a clue where the animal store is XD lmao
> 
> Another chapter done and they STILL haven't gone shopping! Ugh! *glares at muse*
> 
> Muse: Hey! Last time you said you would make me take you to the Alley and I did. You didn't say I had to take you SHOPPING.
> 
> Ari: Oo;; Hmmm... You got me on a technicality ^^;; lol Damn Slytherin muse...
> 
> Also, you will notice that Harry, or Rea, is not wearing glasses. Even though her biological Father did, her biological Mother did not. Therefore I'm going with the theory that the cupboard caused the issue, and seeing as she escaped early on it will not become a problem. After next chapter I'm hoping to do a time skip (HOPE being the key word here) and we can get on with the story and closer to Hogwarts... Because THAT is going to be a blast! XD lol
> 
> A/N 2: I have recently started playing on MuggleNet Interactive (google it, the site is awesome!) which is a Harry Potter Fan site where you can have classes, go to Gringotts, Publish "books" (fanfictions) in Flourish & Blotts. I have a poll on my profile, because I want to know your opinion. Should I publish a current fanfic in F&B or should I make a new one exclusively for it? Just curious :D lol
> 
> Next time on Dude Looks Like a Lady: Ry and Rea WILL go shopping! See ya soon!


	6. Naga-wha?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Vesta the Smartass Naga XD lol

Word Count: Around 2000

Beta: None at the moment...

oOoOoOo

_'You have GOT to be kidding me.'_

Of all the things Vesta had thought would happen today, being draped around some Witch's shoulders like a freaking feather boa was not one of them.

Damn it, she wasn't even a BOA constrictor for Magic's sake!

_'As if being captured by Humans wasn't humiliating enough.'_ Oh well, she supposed she could always bite the bitch.

Then again, perhaps that wasn't such a stellar idea. Knowing her luck? Rather than the Humans throwing her back into the wild -like she wanted- they would try and kill her or something equally unpleasant. Sure she could change into her true form but... well, that would just guarantee a target on her back.

_'What to do? What to do...'_ The lovely serpent mused. _'Oh, I know! Just because I can't actually bite her doesn't mean I can't threaten to! Besides, I once heard someone say that yelling is good therapy.'_

Okay, so maybe she exaggerated a bit. She had never heard someone say yelling is good stress relief. But it worked nicely for her! Besides, what the person happened to have mentioned was close enough for government work.

_'Especially Human government.'_ All of her kind agreed, Human politicians were just… _'Incompetent morons.'_ And that was putting it nicely.

Vesta would rather deal with the cranky bastards in the Council of Elders over those idiots any day. Even if the Elders were grumps who liked to chastise and complain about the "youngsters" -a lot- at least they stood for what they believed in and didn't waiver. These Human politicians were such flip-flops that most didn't know if they were coming or going!

_'Cowards who will fall for anything.'_ From her observations it was the most accurate way for her to describe that lot.

"Oh, he is absolutely stunning! Don't you agree, Migie?" The Witch asked her friend and Vesta twitched.

**§ I'm female you ignorant Human! The only slightly redeeming quality about your fat arse is that you're magical, and from what I can sense you are barely that! §**

Ah yes, that felt better. Sure the Humans around didn't react, but at least she was getting it off her chest. If nothing else, the snakes and other reptiles in the building could sympathize with her.

"Oh yes Tubloria."

_'Tubloria? Seriously? Well, she is rather tubby so I suppose... but who in their right mind would name their hatchling something so cruel?'_ Vesta would never understand Humans...

"Why, if you showed up to the party with him on your shoulders I'm sure you'll turn quite a few heads. Why, you'll be the talk of the ton!" Stated the Witch's friend, Migie?

**§ Do Humans even THINK before naming their hatchlings? Those names are absolutely horrid. If I were a Human with a name like that, I would have changed it as soon as possible. Then again, I don't know which one is worse… §**

**§ They are both gag worthy. §** A young voice responded from behind the small group and Vesta couldn't help but laugh.

**§ You're right little one, I shouldn't discriminate! They are both atrocious! §** Vesta agreed and turned around to look at what she thought was another "captive."

Imagine her surprise when she saw a small Human child staring up at her with a big grin on their pretty little face.

**§ Are you hiding behind the Human, little serpent? §**

**§ Nope. §** The Human child replied with a giggle and Vesta felt slightly faint due to the shock.

**§ A Speaker? An honest to Magic... Speaker? §** Her people had thought the language lost to those who did not possess scales of their own. _'Then again, Human's think my kind myth. Turnabout is fair play, huh?'_

"What is with all that hissing though? You would think he would be quieter." Tubloria huffed and the skinny little bint she called a friend nodded in agreement.

"You couwd ahways get anower one, M'am." The Human child spoke in English as they turned their attention to the older Witches and unleashed an absolutely breathtaking smile upon the unsuspecting duo.

Both women jumped slightly, which told Vesta that neither had noticed the child beforehand, and looked at the cute kid.

"Why yes, you're right!" Tubloria responded with a clap of her hands and a pleasant smile on her face, an obvious attempt to hide the fact that she had been caught unawares.

"What a smart little girl you are!" Migie praised as she too tried to disguise her surprise.

A light blush graced the child's cheeks, which only added to their charm, and the "Dimwit Duo" sighed in awe. Vesta had to contain herself, the urge to laugh was almost too much! The kid had the two Witches completely wrapped around their little finger and the Speaker hadn't even had to TRY!

_'Wait a minute...'_ There was something off about the skinny one's comment. **§ Girl? §** Vesta knew these two were stupid, so she shouldn't have been all that surprised. **§ Great, they are unable to properly tell a male from a female. Lovely. §** She shook her head and knew that if she stayed in their company much longer she would develop a headache...

**§ I'm glad that not a lot of people can understand you. §** The boy-who-they-thought-was-a-girl sighed.

**§ So you KNOW you are different? §** Now that was extremely interesting.

Had the child heard tales of the Speakers? Was the kid raised by one who spoke the serpent tongue? Or better yet, were there more Speakers hidden away from the world? If Vesta's people could find them… oh, that would be glorious!

_'Or perhaps... No, don't be silly. As if I would be the one to find THAT child.'_

**§ Yes. I've been called a Freak all my life... §**

Vesta looked at the young Speaker, completely dumbfounded. _'Freak? Who dares call a Speaker a Freak?!'_

**§ Well, until Mum and Dad adopted me. But I have to be a girl, otherwise the family who called me a Freak will find me! §** The young Human looked panicked for a second before "she" quickly hid it behind a smile.

Now Vesta was beyond angry. Whether this "girl" was THAT child or not, no one would insult a Speaker as long as she could help it! Speakers were gifts to her kind from Magic Herself, and Vesta would be damned if she didn't do everything in her power to guard that Treasured Soul.

**§ That's it! I'm going home with you. §** Vesta proclaimed and proceeded to leave the stunned "Dimwit Duo" and wrap herself around her new "friend."

"Tha… it… you..." Both Witches stared at the child and "her" new companion, completely dumbfounded.

_'Not that it'd take much...'_

**§ Whoops… §** The Speaker hissed nervously.

**§ Forgot about them, didn't you? §**

**§ And you didn't? §** The Speaker asked with a raised eyebrow.

**§ A Naga knows better than to lose focus on one's surroundings. §** Sadly KNOWING better and actually adhering to the practice were two entirely different things.

But it wasn't as if she had lied to the Speaker, Vesta had just… danced around the truth is all. It was her lack of focus while out on a mission that had landed her in this damned pet shop after all.

_'I wonder...'_ Had it really been her fault she had been captured? Or had it been Fate? Now that Vesta had met the little Speaker… _'Elder Serpens always said "Everything happens for a reason." Am I destined to help the Speaker? Could this be the child of legend?'_

Legend or not, Vesta would protect him… her…

_'Oh, whatever!'_

The Child! She would help the freaking child, regardless of whatever gender IT was!

_'Magic help me, this is going to be a headache...'_

**§ Are you done spacing out? The large lady just paid for you. §**

**§ WHAT?! §**

What all had Vesta missed while she had been lost in thought? Last she checked the Dimwit Duo had been going crazy over the child's Parseltongue ability -not that she had much room to talk... but that was besides the point! There was no way she was willing to go home with the overgrown Witch! Vesta had already promised to protect the Speaker!

**§ What was that about focus? §** The child smirked and Vesta's jaw dropped.

The child was messing with her!

**§ Cheeky brat. §**

**§ But the woman really did pay for you… §**

"Little Lady, would you like a carrier for your new pet?" The "Large Lady" inquired with a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Naw, we awe good." Emerald eyes danced with happiness as "she" looked at the older Witches. "Awe yow sure it is otey fow me ta have her? I'm sure Dad couwd get her fow me."

**§ She "bought me" for you? §** Vesta chuckled. **§ Brat, you had me worried I'd have to bite her and come seek you out. §**

**§ You like me that much, huh? §** The child inquired while her emerald eyes danced with amusement.

"Parselmouths are so rare, it is an honor to purchase a familiar for one such as yourself young Lady." Tubloria seemed against allowing anyone else such a so-called "honor."

"Oh, how rude of us! My name is Migie Mettleswood, and this is my friend Tubloria Tumblesome."

Vesta was glad she was in snake form, because she could openly laugh her arse off and the adults couldn't tell! Though she felt bad for her little Speaker. The serpent could feel the tension in the little one's shoulders and knew "she" was trying her best not to laugh as well.

**§ Seriously, their names are horrible. §**

"Pweased to meet yow. I'm Caesarea Didina Noir." The "girl" replied with an elegant curtsey and Vesta looked on with wide eyes…

Okay, fine, her eyes in snake form were ALWAYS wide. Not her fault serpents couldn't properly show their surprise!

**§ What a powerful name. §**

**§ Huh? §**

**§ Caesarea is the female form of Caesar, which means Leader...sometimes translated to City of the King, but that's besides the point. §** Vesta waved possible questions away with a flick of her tail. **§ Didina means Desired, or Beloved. You are truly wanted and cherished by your new family and it shows. §**

"Rea!" A man's voice called from within the store.

"Ower here Dad!" Caesarea replied happily as she brought a hand up and gently stroked Vesta's scales in "thanks."

An aristocratic man rounded the corner and relief shone in his eyes when they landed on the little Speaker… Well, until he saw HER.

"Rea, don't panic. Just stay very still and I will have you free in no time." The brunette man stated calmly as he drew his wand.

"Ah, you must be Mr. Noir." Migie greeted, completely oblivious to the scene before her.

"Your daughter is such a delight! You must feel truly blessed to have a Parselmouth in your family!" Tubloria chimed in.

"Are you one as well?"

"Pardon?" The blue eyed man inquired as he stopped mid-motion, a look of confusion flitted briefly across his face before it was quickly hidden behind his "Pureblood Mask."

**§ I have a feeling that spell would have been annoying for me, at the very least. §** Vesta deadpanned, internally glad that the Dimwit Duo had stopped the man's actions, and Rea only shrugged in response.

**§ Dunno. I still have a lot to learn. §**

**§ More than you know. §** Vesta smirked at the thought. **§ And I'm just the Naga to teach you! §** Oh the things she would teach the child… Yes, the Wizarding World was in for quite a shock.

**§ What is a Naga anyway? Is it a type of snake? §**

Said Naga didn't know whether or not she should be offended. What magical child didn't know about Nagas? Sure they were merely "myths" to Humans now, but her kind were in bedtime stories for Magic's sake! Only those blasted Mundanes and the Magicals raised by them were ignorant of the existence of her kind… or at least the legends.

_'Really need to fix this world's views of us before we can let them know we still exist.'_ She thought sadly.

No biggie. Whether this child was educated or not would soon be rectified. Vesta would teach "her" the Arts, as well as History and other useful subjects.

**§ Sort of… I will explain later. For now just keep my, er, "breed" to yourself. Okay? §**

**§ Okay! §** Rea agreed and turned her attention to her father...

Who just stared at her liked he'd seen a ghost.

"Dad?" Rea tentatively asked in a worried tone.

"You speak to snakes?"

"Yes…" Rea nodded slowly, unsure of her Dad's reaction. She obviously didn't wish to upset the man who had adopted her.

"And they understand you?"

"Yes…"

The man blinked several times and then shook his head while he lowered his wand. He let out a short chuckle before he walked over to the child.

"MY daughter is a Parselmouth." The brunette stated in a tone that bordered on amazement and disbelief.

"That's what we said!" Migie jumped in with a happy little clap.

"And since she has bonded so well with that lovely snake, I just HAD to get him for her." Tubloria bragged.

"HIM?" The male seemed displeased and glared at Vesta.

**§ Methinks your Father is overly protective. §** Vesta snickered even though she made sure to be ready should the man draw his wand.

Again.

"It's otey Dad, she's a giwl." Rea giggled, which seemed to quell the male's ire.

"Ah. Very well." Rea's Dad agreed and gently took the child's hand, mindful of the serpent resting on the "girl's" delicate shoulders, before he turned his attention to the older Witches. "I thank you for the gift, but it is unnecessary. I'm more than capable of providing for my family."

"Of that I have no doubt!" The large Witch replied with a placating gesture.

"However, as we informed your darling Rea, it is an honor to provide a Parselmouth with their familiar." Migie stated nervously.

**§ I'm going to call her Twiggy. §**

Thanks to Vesta's commentary, any tension between the adults was aptly defused when Rea could no longer help it and started to laugh herself silly.

oOoOoOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yeah, definitely doing a time skip. The child speak is cute, but it's a pain to figure out and write XD lmao (If I have to keep Harry, or Rea, a child much longer I'm going to just have to have her speak Parseltongue 24/7 lol) The reason Rea can speak well in Parseltongue is, more or less, the same as why her thoughts have correct pronunciation. It doesn't take much in the area of vocals to snake speak, whereas Human language strains her underused chords. Once she starts to talk more (now that she is allowed to), this shouldn't be a problem for long.
> 
> I've got another chapter I will try and post tomorrow, if you don't feel like waiting you can find the story over on FFN. Story and pen names are both the same :D lol


	7. Tea for Beings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What seems like a quaint little tea party brings about some revelations, and it's becoming rather apparent that Rea is not normal. Far from it~ And the Beings that surround her wouldn't want it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not sure if the one in the first chapter or so is adequate, so I wish to reiterate: I do not own Harry Potter, I just like royally f***ing with his life in fanfictions. Though the lovely J K Rowling did a wonderful job of giving the Boy-Who-Lived hell, I just like to add my own twisted chaos to the mix XD lol… (I love how I try to make his life better, and just make it worse in a different sense ^^;; lol)

Word Count: 5,160 (Hope this makes up for the delay ^^;; lol)

Beta: None at the moment, all mistakes are mine .

oOoOoOo

Close to four months had passed since the events in Anom Alley and Rea was quite pleased.

Aside from the move to Britain and getting acclimated to the new surroundings Rea had been practicing her speech, which had improved exponentially! Who knew something as simple as talking every day and asking questions could help one's voice?

Okay, so Rea had KNOWN it would help but she had not had the opportunity to do so until recently.

' _Thank Merlin for my parents.'_ Rea thought happily as she walked gracefully around the room, a book perched precariously upon her head, and danced around the occasional leaf or vine in her path.

Another thing she had been practicing: her grace and poise. A model did not slouch… nor did a Pureblood, for that matter. She needed to be prim, proper, and on her best behaviour at all times regardless of whether she was playing the part of a "dutiful daughter" or an up-and-coming "iconic idol."

Well, the behaviour part was not an issue in the slightest. She had been forced to be good when she was younger, with dire consequences should she falter, so it came naturally. The prim and proper however… those took a little getting used to.

But she had been more than happy to tackle the challenge!

Now? She dare say she was close to becoming a master just like her mum! She "practiced" for fun nowadays rather than any real need to do so and her parents couldn't be happier. It was as if her past had never happened…

Then again, as far as she and her family were concerned, it HADN'T. She was Caesarea Didina Noir, Heiress of the House of Noir. Born a Hermaphrodite who felt comfortable as a female, even though that would keep her from being the Heir. Should the need arise she could become such, but she had a feeling a brother would be coming along in the near future…

Well okay, maybe it wasn't so much a feeling as it was Vesta's comment that her mother was expecting a hatchling. But Rea wasn't about to ruin the surprise, even though she had a question she was dying to ask them. No, she would be good. She would wait for her parents to tell her the news and then she would make her inquiry.

**§ How long does it take for Humans to realize they have young on the way? §** Vesta, who had known the day it happened, had posed the question to Rea every day since.

Rea, however, always gave the same response, **§ How should I know? I'm just a hatchling! §** To which both serpent speakers laughed.

"Ah, speaking to your friend again I see." Axerod chuckled from just inside the doorway.

"Axerod, have you no manners? One must knock before entering the room of a Lady." Rea had heard that several times over the course of the last few months and couldn't help but use the phrase herself... even if she didn't really mean it.

The goblin chuckled. "But milady, you left your door ajar." Axerod playfully pointed out, knowing that the child wasn't serious.

**§ Well duh, how else am I to come and go as I please? Magic? Not in this form, buddy! §** Vesta responded and Rea giggled.

"Also, I haven't actually entered your rooms. I'm merely loitering about in the doorway." Axerod smirked.

**§ He has a valid point. §** Vesta snake-shrugged and looked at the girl from her usual perch around Rea's shoulders.

"Well do be a dear and enter, I can't have you loitering about. You are family after all." Rea smiled and motioned for the goblin to enter.

Axerod nodded and with a chuckle did as the child requested. Honestly, he was quite pleased with "Doll's" progress… and her attitude in general.

The goblin didn't waste any time and sat down in the comfortable rocking chair, which was only a few feet from the door. Rea was used to having her family visit so she tried to make things as convenient for them all as possible. The chair's placement also acknowledged the fact she understood none of them wanted to venture too far into her domain.

' _That child is something else.'_ Axerod thought with fondness. It was rare that a Witch or Wizard showed respect to goblins, much less cared about them or their feelings, but Rea? ' _Yes, truly one of a kind.'_

"Would you like some tea, Uncle? I can have Punkin bring some up…"

A pop was heard and said House Elf bounced around happily.

"Did Punkin Princess call for her? Can Punkin get something for her Princess?" The young House Elf asked excitedly and Axerod noticed her speech had improved much like that of the young Heiress.

' _Rea must be working with her.'_ The goblin thought with mild surprise.

Only mild. From the first time he'd met the child he realized she was full of surprises and he needed to be ready to just "flow with the punches" unless he wanted to suffer a heart attack from the excess excitement the girl was sure to bring to his life.

"Can we have some tea, Punkin? Please bring enough for all of us. I want to have a tea party and for you to join!" Rea stated politely, but one could see the excitement shining in her emerald eyes.

Regardless of how mature she acted, the girl was still only a child of four and could properly enjoy what adults tended to take for granted.

"One tea party comin' up!" Punkin exclaimed and, with a snap of her fingers, the room rearranged to accommodate such an event without Axerod needing to move so much as an inch. "Back in a flash!" And with a pop the House Elf was off to get tea.

"Punkin is amazing." Rea hummed as she made her way over to the table Axerod now sat before. "Do you like how she helped decorate my room for me?"

Axerod had noticed, but had refrained from commenting. Now that Rea herself had broached the subject, however…

"It looks like a jungle in here."

Sure enough, the room was filled with lush greenery. In fact, Axerod could no longer see the doors which lead to the child's bedroom or the bathroom, the plant life completely obscured one's view of the walls. And the ceiling, where vines looked to have had a field day.

' _Though the flowers are lovely.'_ The goblin could appreciate the fact that the majority of the plants within the room yielded blossoms of some sort. ' _And wasn't there a closet in here somewhere?'_ Yeah…

That door was hidden as well.

**§ Rainforest. §** Vesta stated as she looked at the goblin, knowing full well that her Speaker would relay the message.

"Rainforest." Rea translated, as expected, though she did so with a smirk. "I wanted Vesta to feel more comfortable." She added.

' _As well as hide her.'_ Axerod had to hand it to her, it was a brilliant plan. ' _If it can hide her rooms, the plants can surely hide Vesta as well…'_ Then there was the added bonus that most would avoid venturing into the child's domain for fear of becoming lost in the foliage.

"Is that where your friend hails from?" Axerod asked with a knowing look in his eyes as he gazed at said "friend."

**§ Perhaps. §** Rea could hear the smirk in the serpent's voice and knew by the Naga's tone that it was not.

"She doesn't want to say." Rea laughed lightly.

"I understand." Axerod nodded his head towards the serpent. "Will you be joining us for tea?" He inquired. "Rea's parents are out for the day and should not be home until late."

**§ Have I told you lately that I simply adore this goblin? §** Vesta chuckled as she eased down from around the child's shoulders and onto the floor.

"Have I told you lately how much Vesta loves you?" Rea inquired and could swear a slight blush graced the goblin's cheeks.

**§ Adore! Not love, I ADORE him. There's a difference! §** Vesta complained from where she was on the floor and Rea laughed aloud.

**§ Sure there is. §** Rea barely got the sentence out before she was smacked upside the back of her head.

Gently of course, but a rather noticeable gesture that earned the Naga a glare.

**§ No fair! §** Rea exclaimed with a slight pout on her cute little lips.

**§ What's not fair about me transforming to defend myself? §** Vesta chuckled as she stood in all her Naga glory beside the young Speaker.

Well, as much as a Human with the lower half of a snake can stand at any rate.

Axerod couldn't help himself and stared. Sure he'd seen Vesta in her true form before, but the Being was positively stunning and he couldn't help but drink in the view every time. The woman was gorgeous!

Her silken locks were so black they had a blue -almost violet- tint to them and seemed to change at the slightest movement. The thick, dark hair flowed down her back and spilled over her front to cover her otherwise bare breasts. Not that he meant to stare at her naked bossom, mind you, but with the faint scar that looked undoubtably like a pentagram -with a gem in the center- placed right smack dab inthe middle of her chest...well, he couldn't help it sometimes!

'Moving on to less dangerous territory...'

Despite the Naga's sharp tongue, her features were actually quite soft and gentle. Amethyst eyes held a kind, caring light to them but all occupants of the room knew those snake eyes could turn cold and cruel at a moment's notice should the need arise…

Or if someone ticked the Naga off.

' _I'm still surprised the woman isn't a redhead.'_ That had been the largest shock to the goblin when he realized he was under the same roof as a Legendary Being.

Why wasn't the discovery of the Naga herself more alarming? Oh that was an easy one to answer, Axerod had learned early on to expect the unexpected… ESPECIALLY when it involved Rea.

"I always wanted to ask, why are you naked? Do you want some clothes?" Rea asked and Axerod mentally cursed the child.

' _Trying to spoil my fun.'_ Axerod internally grumbled.

What? He might find females to be frightening beyond belief, but he was still male and could at least enjoying LOOKING at the fairer sex along with the rest of them!

**§ Thanks, but no thanks. I find them annoying, as do many of my kind. In fact, the only time we wear anything even resembling your Human version of clothing is for decoration… mainly during special occasions. §**

"And Vesta's response is?" Axerod inquired, honestly curious about it. The answer had seemed rather long and drawn out for a simple "yes" or "no."

"She says they are annoying and her kind don't really wear clothes… er, why do Humans and Goblins wear them then?" Rea was full of questions and Axerod was glad that she was confident enough to voice them…

He just wished it was something less embarrassing

"Because Goblins are materialistic and Humans, uh… Well, during certain...rituals they don't but, um…" Axerod tried his darndest to keep from resembling a slowly ripening tomato. "It's just not socially acceptable among Humans to go without clothing." He finished lamely.

"I see…" Rea trailed off as she nodded to herself. "Perhaps I should inquire about that to Mum and Dad, seeing as they are Human and all?"

"Yeah, you do that." Axerod nodded. ' _Better them than me.'_

**§ It's because a Human's skin is not nearly as tough as a Naga's. They wear it for protection, as well as modesty. §**

"Oh, alright… But then why don't Nagas wear it for modesty?"

**§ We are blessed by Magic and nurtured by Mother Earth. We like to connect with Lady Gaia to the fullest and do not let something like "modesty" stand in our way. §** Vesta stated proudly before a mischievous glint sparked in her eyes. **§ Besides, our lower halves are covered comparatively speaking. §** The woman laughed as she gestured toward her lovely tail, which she had wrapped around a chair so that she may sit at the table with the others.

A soft "pop" and a tray appearing on the table warned the trio of Punkin's arrival.

"Sorry it took so long Princess, Punkin decided to go to your favorite cake shop and grab some treats." And sure enough the House Elf had appeared holding a second tray full of confectionary goodies.

"Thank you Punkin." Rea said formally, but the others knew inside the child was doing a little happy dance.

"Tis Punkin's pleasure, Princess." The House Elf smiled and set the tray on the table -right alongside the teapot, four cups and saucers- before she took her seat to Rea's left. "Thank you for inviting Punkin. It's an honor to have tea with Princess and the Legendary Lady." She bowed her head to the females. "Him too." She nodded at Axerod, almost as an afterthought.

_'Looks like Rea's taught her more than how to speak.'_ Just what the world needed, a sarcastic House Elf.

"May Punkin clean Legendary Lady's scales for her later?" The House Elf inquired as she looked at the Naga's tail almost longingly.

"Fine, I see how it is now. One must either be Rea herself or have magnificent scales to get respect around here." Axerod chuckled before his eyes locked with Vesta's gaze. "They really are breathtaking and match your hair perfectly."

"Are all Nagas like that?" Rea spoke up suddenly, before things got mushy. "Able to tell their hair colour by their scales I mean?" She clarified. Though she had asked to avoid an awkward moment, her curiosity really was getting the best of her.

' _I wouldn't be surprised if Rea went up and started interrogating a bloody Dark Lord. Good thing there aren't any around...yet.'_

Sadly, Axerod knew that as long as those with a Dark affinity were being oppressed then another Dark Lord would come along sooner or later. Not that he was against the Dark gaining equal rights, quite the opposite actually, but it was the war that followed the rise of a Dark Lord which Axerod was worried about.

Granted, he liked wars. Axerod was damn good at them and his reputation among the goblins spoke of his prowess on the battlefield. However, he did not want Rea to have to endure the hardships that came along with war, nor the heartache the casualties would bring.

**§ Hmmm… §**

Vesta's hiss brought Axerod out of his rather morbid thoughts and he smiled at the woman. Even if the Naga hadn't a clue as to what he'd been thinking, he was sure -by the look in her eyes- she had purposefully made an unnecessary addition to her explanation just to get his attention.

**§ If one is lucky, their colouring will compliment them brilliantly... though there was this one time I met a Naga with lime green scales and orange hair. He really knew how to stand out. §** Vesta snickered and Rea couldn't help but giggle as well.

"I'm afraid to ask." Axerod shook his head and Punkin nodded her agreement, instead she opted to ignore it and serve everyone tea.

Rea shrugged and let Punkin do her thing. The child had learned early on not to get in the way of a House Elf and what they deemed to be their responsibility. The memory of Rea being teleported out of the kitchen a grand total of ten times -in one day- was fresh in everyone's minds.

"Soooo... What are your plans for Christmas?"

"The House of Noir prefers to give thanks to Magic by celebrating Yule." Rea replied automatically.

"Ah yes, the House does observe the Old Ways." Axerod smiled in approval. "However, I overheard a particular couple planning to get a certain someone some gifts, so..."

**§ I have a gift idea in mind. §** Vesta commented with a wicked grin.

And so the planning commenced.

oOoOoOoOoOo

A few days after the tea party Axerod knocked on the door to Ry's study. The Human had the day off and the Goblin planned to take advantage of the opportunity. There was something he had been meaning to talk to the man about for a while now, but they had both been rather busy as of late.

"Come in." Rynell's voice came through the door and Axerod did not hesitate to enter.

"So this is where you've been hiding." Axerod smirked as he closed the door behind him.

"Oh hardy-har-har. As if I would hide from you." Ry shook his head with a small smile.

"Not me." The goblin agreed as he made himself comfortable in the chair which was placed in front of Rynell's desk. "The mountain of invitations you and your wife have been bombarded with recently." He chuckled and Ry groaned.

Not very Pureblood-like, but the goblin hadn't been exaggerating when he said "mountain" of invites. The brunette man was just glad his wife was so bloody amazing, otherwise he would probably be ready to go off the deep end by now.

"Apparently we could avoid all but one of them. The excuse being Rea was busy getting settled in and wasn't comfortable enough with the new country yet to venture out."

Axerod snorted. "Which is total bullshit seeing as the child is the most adaptable person I have ever met."

"Yes, well… it was better than saying "we aren't ready to let you sink your claws into her yet." Really, some of these Pureblood mothers are crazy persistent." Ry sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Females are scary, especially when their young are involved." The attempt at commiserating was appreciated, but it was obviously not what the goblin had come for.

"What do you need Axerod?" Ry inquired after a few moments, not bothering to try and read the other male.

Goblins were by far some of the hardest beings to read. If one thing was for certain though, it was that Ry knew who NOT to play cards or bet against.

"It's about Rea…" The goblin started and gained the father's full attention. "Have you noticed her room lately?"

Axerod decided it would be best to feel out the situation a little bit and see how much the Humans knew about what was happening.

The Pureblood nodded and a slight smile graced his lips. "We try not to intrude, though I have noticed her rather… lush and lively decor. I thought Punkin might have gotten a little carried away with the redecorating, but Rea likes it so we decided not to press the issue." Ry looked into Axerod's dark eyes as he cocked his head to the side. "There isn't a problem, is there? If so…"

"No, no, not at all." Axerod waved off the man's worry and tried to reassure the protective father at the same time.

"Good." The Head of Noir sighed, relieved. "Though I must admit, we should probably invest in a greenhouse. I dare say that Rea might take to Herbology like a duck to water." He smiled proudly at the thought of his talented daughter.

"Among other things." Axerod murmured.

"What do you mean?" Ry raised an eyebrow in question as he leaned forward and rested his head in his hand, a universal sign that the man was willing to endure a long explanation if need be.

"Rynell… what do you know of the Primal Spirits?"

The brunette frowned and looked to contemplate something for a moment before he sighed and shook his head.

"Not much unfortunately. I know that Goblins and other creatures are more in-tune with them than Humans."

"They used to be. Back in the time of Merlin, Magical Humans were as blessed by the Primals as the other Beings. But over time… the Wizarding World started to distance themselves from their Magical brethren, began to label them and treat them as lesser beings, and for that the Primals withdrew from the Humans." Axerod stated sadly.

The goblin hadn't personally lived through that particular event, but it still weighed heavily on the minds of all Beings. It had been a tragic time in history and Beings could do nothing but watch as the Humans fell further and further.

"I never knew that." Ry looked stunned at the information. "Why is it not written in our history? Why is it not taught? One must learn from the past, lest they repeat it…" How could their kind have overlooked something so monumental?

Then again, judging by the current political figureheads and whatnot… was Rynell really all that surprised?

' _For how long have politicians been covering up their blunders?'_ If that had been the motivation behind hiding this information from future generations, than their current lack of knowledge wasn't such a shock after all.

The man sighed and placed his head in his hands. "It's not like there is anything I can do about it…" He trailed off and looked up at the goblin. "But what does all that have to do with my daughter?"

Axerod smirked as he leaned back in his chair, placed his hands behind his head, and made himself comfortable.

"Well, "all that" has EVERYTHING to do with your daughter." Axerod chuckled at the confused look on the Wizard's face. "Congratulations, my friend, your child is the first Human to be blessed by the Primals since Merlin."

Axerod had to admit, out of all the reactions he had been expecting from the Pureblood… fainting was not one of them.

' _I'm going to have to find a good therapist.'_ Though whether said specialist would be for him or Rynell was still up for debate. ' _Maybe we can get a two-for-one special.'_

oOoOoOoOoOo

Rea wasn't entirely sure what had happened, but her Dad started to look at her differently.

Not in a bad way, no. It was nothing like the hateful glances the Dursleys had once sent her way, or anything remotely negative like that. Far from it in fact. She just couldn't place her finger on what the emotion was though… or what had changed to cause such a reaction in the first place.

**§ What's on your mind, little Speaker? §**

Rea sighed. She couldn't hide anything from Vesta… then again, that might have something to do with the fact said serpent hung out around her shoulders all day and could more than likely feel any irregularity. Sure her posture looked presentable at all times, but when a Being could feel every little movement or any tension one might have...

"One of these days I'm not going to let you ride about on me, and THEN we shall see whether or not you can read me."

**§ Hush now, it's for your own good. I can't have my little Speaker bottling up her emotions. Besides, you can talk to me about anything. §**

"And what makes you say that?" Rea knew it was childish, but she couldn't help herself.

So Vesta was her Familiar… sort of… it didn't mean she could just talk about anything and everything with the woman, right? There had to be some limits. No, there weren't any at the moment or in the foreseeable future, but later on down the road there MIGHT be something that Rea will not want anyone to know about. Someone might overhear them or...

**§ Hello, Parseltongue? It's not like anyone can understand us so you can, quite literally, talk to me about ANYTHING and no one will be the wiser… §**

And Rea almost smacked herself.

**§ Guess I've gotten so used to talking to you in English that it had slipped my mind. §** Rea admitted sheepishly.

**§ Continue to talk to me in English, but don't forget. Keep the truth in the back of your mind, and use it if you really need to. A back up plan, or to show off to those who you know will not betray you. §** It was a warning -spoken in a soothing tone- but a word of caution nonetheless and it made Rea shiver.

Yes, she had seen what people could be like to those who spoke the serpent tongue and it wasn't pretty. Even though they had been Muggles, she was not keen on learning what Magicals would do if the wrong sort found out.

"English it is."

"Rea, dear, there you are!" Zemi called happily as she made her way to her adorable young daughter. "Are you up for some shopping?" She smiled and Rea's eyes lit up.

"Aren't I always?" What? It's a girl thing. "May I inquire as to the occasion?"

Zemi nodded as she gently grasped her daughter's hand and set off in the direction of the fireplace, which just so happened to be downstairs in the family room.

"Yes." Zemi sighed and patted Rea's hand. "I'm sorry. I managed to talk us out of all the parties except for one. The Malfoys always hold a Winter Gala and…"

"Everybody who is anybody will be there and there's no getting around it without snubbing a very influential family." Rea finished for her.

"Precisely." Zemi laughed lightly as her eyes shone with pride. "Oh, what a brilliant child I have. You make me so proud!" She gushed and grabbed Rea up into a hug.

**§ And the hormones are kicking in! §** Vesta laughed. **§ Watch out, there is more to come. §** The Naga had warned Rea about what to expect from someone who is "Preggers," but this wasn't half bad.

**§ Perhaps you exaggerate. §**

**§ You wish. §**

"Now remember, no Parseltongue in Diagon Alley. The last Dark Lord happened to be a Parselmouth and people are still a bit skittish because of it." Zemi shrugged before she continued to pull her daughter along.

For a pregnant woman, Zemi was awfully energetic.

**§ Are you sure… §**

**§ Positive, though I have to wonder if SHE knows it yet. §** Vesta paused as she bounced her head from side to side. **§ Then again, maybe she does… §**

Rea didn't really mind either way. Her Mum was happy, and that's all that mattered.

"We have to get you all dolled up for your debut into Pureblood society. Oh this is going to be such fun!"

Yep, her Mum was super happy…

**§ She seems so torn up about not being able to get out of that ONE party. §**

**§ You read my mind. §**

oOoOoOoOoOo

Rea stood in the family room with a grin that screamed mischief.

Just as her Mum had wanted, Rea had pulled out all the stops when she had gotten ready. The child certainly lived up to the name "Doll," and even went as far as to use some magical hair extensions for good measure.

Punkin had done some light makeup -over the Seal o' Skin Rea applied religiously- and kept it as natural as possible.

"Punkin Princess is beautiful, regardless." Punkin's main focus had been to make Rea's eyes really stand out and the teen House Elf had done a spectacular job!

They had ended up going to a small shop, which wasn't much more than a little known hole in the wall, but they had found the most amazing clothes! Apparently the shop owner was a designer who had more ideas than she knew what to do with because no two were alike.

Not that Rea was complaining. Due to her first dress being a "One of a Kind" she had a fondness for things that were unique. Besides, she was rather special herself!

Rea had ended up with a green dress, but she was extremely pleased with the outcome. She found herself drawn to the colour more than others and finally realized it was her favourite. Which explained a lot…

"Oh, aren't you such a doll!" Rea smiled when she heard the American Witch's exclamation. "Don't you agree, Tubloria?"

"Yes! And her dress is magnificent. I love the black accents, as well as the sheer overlay in key areas. The material even glimmers in the light and changes to an almost violet black, which still goes marvelous with the green."

"I agree!" Migie nodded. "But where is your familiar little Rea?" The skinny Witch inquired as she noticed the snake was not around the child's shoulders per usual.

**§ Tubby and Twiggy are here WHY? §** Vesta asked from where she was wrapped around the child's waist.

**§ I like them. §** Rea smiled.

"Oh there she is! I didn't even see her there!" The Witch gasped out, apparently surprised with Vesta's "sudden" appearance.

**§ And good news! You blend in with the dress and make an excellent accessory. §**

**§ Hey! I'm not AN accessory, I am THE greatest asset of all time! §** Vesta stated with a "superior" tone. **§ I can make anything look fabulous. §** She added while she stuck her tongue out at the child. **§ Oh, and don't be too sure about me "blending in." If you haven't noticed, these two aren't the brightest stars in the sky… §**

**§ Yes, but from what I gather the Ministry officials and whatnot aren't much -if any- more intelligent than these two. §**

**§ True. §** The child had a valid point.

"Now remember, even though your gift is positively amazing, the people in England do not properly respect it." Migie sighed.

"So be sure to speak English at all times." Tubloria reminded with a smile. "And if you need anything… Well, that's why we are coming along!" She added happily.

**§ So are they your babysitters or your bodyguards? §**

**§ Both. Babysitter… §** Rea gestured to Migie. **§ Bodyguard. §** The girl smiled at Tubloria.

**§ Fitting. §** Vesta laughed.

"Ready everyone?" Zemi asked happily as she entered the room.

"My, my… your Mother is positively glowing." The comment sounded offhanded, but held a lot of meaning.

Not that the Witches thought a child would understand.

' _If only they knew.'_

"And into the Floo we go! Rea darling, you will be coming with Mummy since ...well, you know…"

"Yes, I know. It will make you feel better." Rea agreed and walked up to her Mum.

Tubby and Twiggy didn't need to know the REAL reason was because Rea had awful luck with the Floo when she was by herself. Last time she went to Diagon Alley she had landed in Knockturn Alley by mistake.

Vesta still hasn't let her live it down…

"Let us be off." Zemi cheered and hugged her daughter close while she threw the Floo Powder down. "Malfoy Manor!"

oOoOoOoOoOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I just thought about all the events I want to take place before Rea even gets to Hogwarts and I nearly cried! T.T At this rate, I'm looking at a minimum of five chapters before she even gets her letter! . … I can fix this! Maybe… We'll see XD lol Either way, I have to resign myself to the fact that I need to buckle down and prepare for the long haul… (This story's length might scare me! lol)
> 
> On a side note: I have been working on my outline for DLLaL! As well as writing down plot points, character stats, Being (Creature) backgrounds + definitions and history, research on wand materials and what would be best for 'Rea, then there was learning what are the most popular Newspapers of the time Rea is growing up and…
> 
> Is it really any wonder that I've lost an entire week somewhere in there? XD lmao At least you know I'm dedicated to the story ^^;; lol


	8. Of Parties, Pranks, and Presents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the lovely J K Rowling does and all that jazz… I write for fun, because I enjoy tort...er, "playing" with the cute little characters :D lol I make no money from writing, the only "benefit" is this helps me keep what little sanity I have left…
> 
> I have some left, right?
> 
> A/N: Okay, someone was complaining about too many OCs and "filler." I have this bad habit of believing "everything happens for a reason" and I find it transfers to my writing. (Even when I don't want it to *grrr* lol ) What might seem like useless OCs and Filler now actually do have purpose, which will become apparent later on. Yes, even the Tea Party in last chapter… Though I'm not going to elaborate for fear of giving too much away XD lol
> 
> Special thanks to jeanette9a on AO3 for introducing me to some entertainment (Snake Eyes is an awesome song to type to! XD lol) candy4beth and aspygirlredo on FFN for being so supportive and for chatting with me! (I love fun people :D )
> 
> As always, thank you to everyone who has reviewed/commented. I really appreciate it! :D Hope you have as much fun reading this as I do typing it XD lol

WC: About 6,500 ...

Beta: Anraxus (because they are awesome :D lol)

oOoOoOoOoOo

' _I always thought there was a difference between lack of style and lack of taste… Guess I was wrong.'_ Rea thought as she looked at the old man in front of her.

He had on neon -we're on a hunting trip- orange robes, which clashed horribly with his blue eyes, and that wasn't the worst of it! The horrid colour was just the BASE fabric for the ensemble. Then the man had added green pinstripes and topped it all off with purple, BOUNCING, polka dots.

He even had a hat to match!

' _This man is a fashion DISASTER.'_ Rea mentally cringed, but showed no outward signs of her revulsion as it would be improper to do so… not matter how tempted.

The raven haired child hated to torture her eyes with such a nauseating display, but the old man seemed determined to approach them. Why? She hadn't the slightest clue, but she hoped it wasn't anything important so the ignorant old man would move on. Quickly.

' _How about some fashion advice?'_ If that were the reason for him seeking an audience with them, then Rea would be more than happy to oblige.

Though sadly she thought the man was beyond redemption in that particular field.

' _Your robes are atrocious, your white hair is much too long, one should NOT be able to tuck their beard into their belt because it looks as if it got stuck after using the loo, and if you are trying to look like Merlin you have failed. Miserably.'_ Merlin had had a majestic look to him, but this guy...

This guy just looked like a kooky old goat who was a few gobstones short of a full set. Why he was at an event as magnificent as the Winter Gala was anybody's guess, but Rea was willing to bet he'd forced his way in somehow.

Or was on his way to a Fashion Faux-Pas Convention and just got horribly lost.

**§ The man must be colorblind! Please get us away from this horrid display before it damages our retinas. §** Vesta added her two knuts, though she was sure to keep her voice low enough to be mistaken as nothing more than the rustling of one's skirts.

Alarming the people in attendance that her "accessory" was a living, breathing, poisonous snake was not Rea's idea of a good time. Large groups in full panic was something to be avoided… unless one WANTED to try and cause some "accidental" casualties.

"And who might this lovely young lady be?" The Walking-Talking-Fashion-Faux-Pas asked Rea's mum as he moved closer to the duo.

Duo? Seems they were a few members short from their original numbers…

' _Did everyone see him coming and run?'_ Rea had to wonder. If that were the case, she approved… except for the part where they failed to escape WITH HER.

**§ Oh shit, does your mother not fear for her eyes? Her instincts should have told her to pick you up and RUN! §** The Naga's whining was little more than a whisper, but Rea heard her loud and clear and couldn't agree with the serpent more…

However Zemi, playing the part of the "proper Pureblood," smiled politely and nodded to the man. "Greetings Headmaster Dumbledore, how are you this fine evening?"

"Oh, quite alright my girl!" Dumbledore chuckled before inclined his head towards Rea. "I couldn't help but notice this young lady here, is she the child of a friend?"

Rea almost rolled her eyes. Almost. Apparently the man was not only an eyesore, he was also inconsiderate and completely overstepped his bounds by not even so much as ACKNOWLEDGING the "polite society" custom of inquiring as to one's health before trying to pry into their personal affairs.

Beyond that, referring to a LADY as "my girl" was downright rude, crude, and socially unacceptable! And if all that wasn't bad enough, the bastard had insinuated that Caesarea was someone else's child!

' _Because children happily following strangers around is an everyday occurrence.' ..._ Oh wait. Well there were some rare cases every now and then perhaps, but NOT at a grand Gala!

"This is my **daughter** ,Caesarea." Lady Noir stated and gestured toward the child beside her. "Rea," Zemi started as she made a motion toward the Fashion Disaster, "this is Professor Dumbledore."

Rea fought a smirk at how her mum had demoted him from "Headmaster" to "Professor" in retaliation, but the old coot seemed none the wiser about the rather obvious slight. Some of the Purebloods around them, however, seemed highly amused by it.

"Pleased to meet you, Professor." Rea smiled brightly and curtseyed as she sent up a silent prayer. ' _Please tell me Headmasters don't teach, ESPECIALLY not art!'_ Surely the school had better standards!

"How well mannered!" Dumbledore praised with a grandfatherly smile, though Rea noticed it didn't reach his eyes. "And how old are you, Ms. Noir?"

"I am four, Professor." Rea smiled as she thought about a discussion she and her mum had just the other day. "I was born July thirteenth of nineteen eighty. It was a Sunday, so Mummy says I'm very blessed!" She happily relayed part of said conversation and Zemi gave a small chuckle.

"Oh?" Dumbledore responded and looked at the older female with a raised brow.

"You're the first person she's been able to brag about that to since I told her, seeing as everyone at the house already knows." Zemirea sighed as she answered the unspoken question as to why the child was so forthcoming with the information.

Professor Fashion Disaster laughed, honestly amused judging from his eyes, and nodded in understanding.

"Children are amazing, are they not? Proud of the simple things that we adults take for granted." Dumbledore chuckled and Zemi nodded her agreement. "Though I must say, I'm surprised. I did not realize you had a child…" He trailed off and Rea could tell he was fishing for information.

"You know how rumors are, they tend to make mountains out of nothing." Zemi shook her head. "Just because I did not return from the States after Rea was born, the gossips blew it out of proportion… Granted, we were partially to blame for never speaking of our precious child." She smiled as Rea laid her head against her mother's leg.

Zemi took the hint and started to gently run her fingers through the child's -artificially- long hair. The family had learned not too long ago that the green eyed child loved public displays of affection -they assumed it was a subconscious need to reaffirm her place in their lives- and they were more than happy to give in to her silent demands.

The child was just too cute! How could they possibly resist? Especially since she seemed to have perfected the "puppy eyes" in the past few months...

"Why didn't you speak of her? She is adorable after all, and I'm sure the other families would have loved to know about her sooner. Unless, of course, you were hiding something…"

Rea already disliked the man for his lack of sense, but he seemed determined to be the first -aside from a certain family of Muggles- on her blacklist. The tone he was using with her mother… it almost sounded like the man thought they had done something WRONG!

"I hadn't decided yet." Rea gave a sheepish smile as she shrugged.

Surely the man had heard of Rea's "unique" condition. Pureblood circles tended to be rather thorough, according to her mum, about relaying information which may prove advantageous to them in the future.

Unless the man wasn't a Pureblood. ' _Or not accepted among their circles.'_ And judging from his behaviour and lack of decorum, that was an extremely high probability.

"Decided?" Dumbledore looked at Rea, clearly confused, before he looked at Zemi in hopes she would explain the child's "strange" comment.

"We didn't talk about Rea because we did not wish to force her to choose a gender. We were waiting for her to decide and feared that calling Rea one or the other, even by accident, might pressure her." Zemi stated and looked around for a moment before she leaned closer to the man. "Besides, the longer we kept her away from these Purebloods and their marriage battles, the better in my opinion." She whispered in a conspiratorial fashion.

"That is understandable, and I highly approve." Dumbledore nodded and Rea noticed a twinkle enter is blue eyes. "However the issue of choosing a gender… I'm afraid I'm still not following…"

"Rea is a hermaphrodite, Professor Dumbledore." Lady Malfoy interjected while she confidently approached the trio and a blonde boy proudly walked behind her. "Though as you can see, Caesarea has decided she is most comfortable as a female." The blonde woman smiled at the dark haired child.

"Hello Lady Malfoy, how are you this evening?" Rea curtseyed and smiled, pleased with herself for her "proper" greeting.

Dumbledore could stand to learn a few lessons from HER.

"Wonderful! How are you, Rea? Settling in nicely I hope." Lady Malfoy responded kindly.

From the looks being sent their way, most notably from Lady Zabini, the fact Narcissa addressed the youngest Noir in such a casual manner was not lost on them. In fact, it didn't look like any of the Pureblood Ladies were happy that Rea and the Malfoys seemed to be on friendly terms.

Oh well.

"Yes, I am starting to feel right at home." Her green eyes danced with mirth. ' _Sadly, the more comfortable I get the more daring I seem to become.'_ Which didn't bode well for the party, but…

Well, they would never be able to pin the blame on her.

"Good evening, Lady Malfoy…" Zemi began before said Lady cut in.

"Oh please, call me Narcissa you two!" The blonde woman stated with a teasing tone, as if she'd asked the duo to do so several times in the past.

' _Nice move.'_ Rea could always appreciate a good dance, and the art of "power plays" was by far the most entertaining of all. Better than any Waltz or Tango, that's for sure.

"Of course, Narcissa." Zemi smiled and seemed genuinely pleased at the lack of formality.

Mum never was a fan of titles, though she hid that particular fact splendidly. The woman just thought it could be rather time consuming, and inefficient should someone hold multiple labels, and Rea had to agree.

After all, who wanted to say "Minister of Magic Lord Poppycock the Third, of the Most Silly and Old House of Blah Blah Blah." Regardless, they were a family who would uphold the Old Ways… even if some traditions seemed a bit irritating.

"Thank you for inviting us. Everything is absolutely lovely." Zemi commented and Rea knew her mum meant it.

Rea was just happy for the excuse to talk to someone other than Mr. Fashion Challenged, though she had to admit the Malfoys were experts in the field of Party Planning. The Gala was done up in a "Heaven on Earth" theme, which was simply stunning.

Whites, creams, and golds gave the entire ballroom an ethereal glow. Sheer, flowing fabrics were draped down, some criss crossed, to give the room a soft feel to it as if the place were one with the clouds. Feathers floated down from above around the outer edges of the room, so as not to interfere with the guests, while the illusion of falling feathers could be seen now and again around the dance floor.

Heck, the Malfoys themselves even had wings! Though whether they were an illusion, a spell, or real…

' _Something to ask about some other time… though I'm sorely tempted to get Punkin to bring some tar. It would be a shame to waste all these feathers.'_ Rea mentally chuckled. Even if she knew it would be impossible to pull that off without being caught -not with her current skill level at any rate- it was still a pleasant thought.

Especially when she thought about the orange, green, and purple monstrosity which hadn't moved.

' _He doesn't understand when he's been dismissed apparently.'_ Rea mentally shook her head and turned her full attention to the Malfoys. "Thank you for inviting us, 'Cissa." She blushed when she realized her vocals had failed to properly pronounce the woman's name.

In fact, it appeared her voice had a mind of it's own and skipped the first part of the Lady's name altogether.

Lady Malfoy looked surprised for a moment before a genuine smile graced her features. "It's been ages since someone has called me that…" She mused, a sense of nostalgia in her tone. "Please, feel free to call me 'Cissa any time little Rea."

The young Noir felt extremely relieved to hear that. Insulting the party's hostess was a faux pas far worse than the robes Dumbledore was sporting and that was the last thing Rea wanted to do.

Then again, she was four. Still, she had set rather high standards for herself and would be quite displeased if she fell short.

"I'm happy you all were able to attend. My son, Draco," Narcissa turned to the boy behind her, "has wanted to meet you for some time now." The Lady commented as her Heir moved closer to the young Heiress.

' _Sure he has…'_

"Draco, would you be so kind as to show Rea to the Children's Room and keep her company?"

"Of course." Draco nodded and closed the distance between them. "My name is Draco Malfoy, pleased to meet you." He greeted politely and held out his hand.

"Caesarea Noir. Please, call me Rea." She responded and offered her hand.

Hey, if they were going to call her Rea anyway, she might as well go with it. Besides, if she told EVERYONE to call her by her nickname, surely it would show that they were all on equal standing as far as she was concerned.

' _I can only hope.'_ Otherwise things could get messy.

True to Pureblood custom, Draco gently took Rea's hand -without hesitation- and bowed slightly so he could lightly kiss it.

' _Talk about embarrassing.'_ Rea thought as she smiled and tried her best not to blush.

"Call me Draco." The boy stated with a genuine smile as he held his arm for her to take.

"Alright Draco." Rea looped her arm through the blonde's, as a proper Lady should when being escorted by a dashing young gentleman, and happily let the young Malfoy Heir take the lead.

"Rea, don't forget your Chaperones." Tubloria's voice could be heard from not too far behind the two kids.

"Wouldn't dream of it." The girl giggled, though inwardly she was rolling her eyes.

Where had they been so far? Unless they were fond of watching from the shadows until they were needed, which was a rather sound plan... aside from the fact that "Vesta's Dimwit Duo" did not really have the proper dispositions for such a -delicate- strategy.

**§ Yes, because a bunch of hatchlings are such a threat to your purity. Oh no, watch out! One might try and *gasp* kiss you… on the hand… like he already did. §** Vesta's tone screamed sarcasm and Rea had a hard time trying not to laugh.

It would not do to make the other children think her nutters just because she laughed at seemingly "nothing."

' _Well, time to get this party started.'_

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

' _Either they talked this over before hand, or Draco takes what his mother says way too seriously.'_ Why did Rea think that?

Because the boy hadn't left her company since they were introduced.

Granted, the young Heir was highly entertaining and seemed more than happy to discuss Quidditch with her. In fact, he seemed pleasantly surprised to find the dark haired girl liked the game.

And Draco hadn't been the only one.

"I still can't believe a girl likes Quidditch!"

"That's because Rea is just as much a boy and he is a girl." Pansy stated proudly. "I don't mind though. How often do you find a guy that likes to talk fashion?" She giggled happily.

' _This is going to make my head spin.'_ Being referred to as a girl one moment and then a guy the next can't be good for one's health. ' _Honestly, can't they settle on one for my sake?'_ Then again, their parents were probably to blame for the confusion.

The children started to argue amongst themselves as to what gender Rea should be and green eyes could only watch in -masked- horror.

**§ Oh yeah, this is going to be a fun night. When is Punkin going to get here? We need a distraction. §**

Though the plan had originally been to give the children sugary treats to the point they would be bouncing off the walls, after seeing how they acted NORMALLY and their already rather enthusiastic debate on Rea's gender…

' _I don't know if this is such a good idea.'_ The dark haired child sighed and was about to call for the friendly House Elf when something in the corner of the room caught her eye. ' _Too late.'_

Sure enough, there on a conveniently placed table -she was sure that particular piece of furniture hadn't been there when they had first entered the room- was a lovely display of delicious, mouthwatering candies and cakes. Treats in which several of the young guests were already helping themselves to.

Rea knew she could not tell Punkin to abort her mission now. To do so would not only expose the House Elf as the culprit, but everyone would likely realize that Rea was the "Mastermind" behind the prank.

That just wouldn't do!

She wished to keep her more… mischievous tendencies to herself for as long as possible. For one it would ensure she was less likely to be caught, and also people tended to place the blame on those they THINK are guilty rather than taking the time to actually investigate a situation. Being falsely accused in the future for pranks not of her fabrication was NOT something that interested her in the slightest.

' _Might as well enjoy myself.'_ Rea thought when she spotted one of her favourite cakes. "I am going to grab some refreshments. Care to join me, Draco?" It would be rude to just walk off without him after all, so it was only proper she invite him along.

"Yes, something to drink would be great." The blonde nodded and offered his arm.

Rea took it without hesitation, while mentally she thanked her Being friends. Axerod especially had drilled public etiquette into her to the point that taking Draco's arm was more due to muscle memory than instinctual response.

Even though Axerod had commented on Rea's excellent instincts, he wasn't the type to leave anything to chance. The young Noir Heiress was a "business endeavour" the goblin was fully "invested" in, and the Being was a rather strict task master.

' _Rather than use code, you would think Uncle would just come out and admit that he loves me. It is obvious that he just wants to see me succeed and be the best I can be.'_

But apparently for a Goblin to confess aloud that they love something aside from money -or battle- is a sign that the world is ending...

"When did these get here?" Draco's voice snapped Rea out of her thoughts and she looked to the blonde in confusion.

"Whatever do you mean?" She asked while her green eyes stared intently at the cake she would soon have in her possession. ' _And in my belly.'_ Using her manners when faced with such tempting -decadently delightful- strawberry goodness was so hard!

Yet a "proper Lady" had to wait either for the male to ask what she desired, or try and pick something out to suit her tastes.

' _Please don't be the latter.'_ Because if Draco chose something, regardless of whether or not she liked it, she would have to grin and bear it.

Standard Pureblood protocol. Yay…

"I thought for sure Mother had told the House Elves not to serve sweets." Draco stated with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Perhaps she changed her mind? Besides, I know for a fact that the strawberry cake here isn't too terribly sweet."

And it was true! The cake she liked most wasn't overly sugary at all. In fact, the **majority** of the sweetness came from the strawberries themselves. It was a subtle flavour, with a hint of white chocolate added to the mix, and positively divine!

"Maybe…" The blonde hummed before a smile lit up his features. "What is your favourite type of cake?"

' _He's smart.'_ Getting to know someone's preferences rather than trying to take a blind guess was always a good move. "I like the strawberry one there." She smiled as she motioned towards the one she had spoken of only moments prior.

"Well, that explains how you knew about it." Draco laughed as he acquired a piece and gently handed the plate over to his raven haired companion.

**§ You know, showing your Achilles heel so early in the game is not recommended. §** Vesta chuckled lowly and Rea had a general idea as to what the Naga was referring, but didn't foresee a problem.

So Rea had a slight weakness for cake, didn't most kids? Besides, it wasn't as if Draco would use that AGAINST her. In fact, chances were she would be getting a lot more dessert in the near future. The Malfoy thought he was being privy to some personal information about her which would give him an advantage in the game his mother is playing, and Rea has a higher chance of eating cake every time she sees the blonde family.

Win-win as far as she was concerned.

"These are Pans' favourites." Draco commented as he picked up a small plate of chocolate cake and a cup of raspberry flavoured sparkling water. "She would be most upset if I did not offer them to her. Would you mind…" He trailed off, silently asking permission to leave her company for a moment without offense.

"Go on, I will be here when you return." Rea waved in a motion that more or less said "get to it already."

"Thank you." Draco smiled and went to deliver the treats to his friend.

' _Finally, a moment to myself.'_ Well, not ENTIRELY to herself. She could still see Tubby and Twiggy in a corner as they watched her… or rather, watched everyone around her. They took protecting Rea's innocence very seriously.

Which was something that made Vesta laugh every time the Naga thought about it for some reason. Rea wasn't completely certain as to how one went about losing their innocence, and why the "D Duo" thought she needed protection in the presence of other children, but whatever… wasn't like she could do anything about it.

Well, perhaps there were a few things Rea COULD do… but she would keep those in mind for another time. The Duo wasn't in the way or causing any harm so there was no point in revealing any tactics now when she could make use of them at a later date.

Rea heard a "pop" and watched an excitable young -male?- House Elf hop about as he pulled on his ears in obvious distress.

"Oh noes, oh noes! Mistress will bes most displeased." The House Elf whined. "Mistress tolds us not to give the young Masters sweets. Dobby will fix it!"

Uh oh.

"Dobby was it?" Rea asked as the Elf went to raise his hands, which caused said Being to pause and look at her instead.

"Yes Young Mistress?" Dobby asked in a low, frightened tone, as he started to pull on his ears once more.

"Please, call me Rea." She smiled and a strange look crossed Dobby's features before he started to cry.

"None has ever asked Dobby to calls them by just their names. Dobby will no bes doing something bad, Dobby bes calling yous Mistress Rea."

"But that's such a mouthful." Rea laughed and shook her head.

This "Dobby" character seemed rather set in his ways -for now- so the green eyed girl would just have to go along with it for the time being.

"Very well, Dobby. As far as the sweets go, your Mistress told the Elves of this household not to serve them is that correct?"

"Yous bes correct Mistress Rea."

"I do not believe the person who brought them to be of this House, so it should be okay right? It's not like any of YOU put them there after all." Rea gave the Being a bright smile and Dobby tentatively returned the expression.

"Yous bes correct again, Mistress Rea." The House Elf nodded, slowly at first but soon picked up to the point he was practically banging his head against the floor with every downward motion.

' _Well he seems eager to please. Wonder if I could talk him into helping me with a prank sometime...'_ Rea's eyes widened slightly as she remembered someone in attendance who deserved to be pranked. ' _Pranked to Hell and back.'_

Or just Hell…

' _Oh, THAT would be brilliant!'_ And such a lovely plan too, if the Being was willing to lend a hand.

Best part? House Elf magic couldn't be traced like Wands -so the blame could be placed on ANYONE blessed by the Goddess- and since the party consisted of only Magicals… Well the old goat would have to tread lightly. It wouldn't do for him to go around accusing people, and the chances of SEVERAL guests having used " _Incendio"_ to light their fireplaces before they Flooed over was extremely high. Soooo...

Yeah, this was going to be fun!

"Right. So that's one less thing to worry about." Rea hummed. "However, is there a chance you could help me with something?" She smirked and walked closer to the Being. "A little favour, but it would have to be a secret just between us." She whispered to make sure no one would overhear.

"What kinds of favours cans Dobby bes doing for nice Mistress?" The House Elf looked curious, if not a little excited with a hint of apprehension.

"You know that guy with the horrible orange robes? The one with the purple bouncy balls?"

Dobby made a face and Rea could tell the Being knew EXACTLY who she was talking about, and more importantly the House Elf appeared to DISLIKE the Professor almost as much as she did!

"Dumblydoor." Dobby huffed, and then seemed to catch himself and looked worried. "Dobby…"

"Don't worry Dobby, I'm not upset." Rea reassured the House Elf immediately.

She remembered her sessions with Punkin back home and knew positive reinforcement was the best way to go. And praise. It seemed to really embarrass the Beings, but it helped them come out of their shells in the long run.

"In fact, I'm glad you seem to share my feelings on the matter. He greatly insulted my mum and I when we met, and I get the feeling he doesn't like anyone here either."

Dobby nodded. "Dumbly tries to seems nice, but his magics…" The House Elf shivered.

**§ Well that explains a few things… §** Vesta commented softly and though Rea wasn't sure what either Being meant, she knew that both understood something she didn't about the Headmaster.

And whatever that "something" was... wasn't good.

"So… what are the chances of you lighting a fire under his bum?" The look Dobby gave Rea was priceless, and the events that followed were even better.

Truly the start of a **beautiful** friendship!

oOoOoOoOoOo

**DUMBLEDORE IS FLAMING!**

_Or at least his bum was!_

_Yesterday evening at the much anticipated Winter Gala -held by the prestigious Malfoy family- there was a little mishap. A small fire started, which wasn't all that alarming seeing as most of the Wizarding World is able to put flames out in a matter of seconds._

_No, what caused a slight panic was the fact that the blaze started under the chair where Albus Dumbledore -Headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry- had planted his rump. The Professor had been enjoying a nice cup of tea with Minister Bagnold when the incident occurred. Rather than vanish the flames with a simple spell the Headmaster, seemingly having forgotten the fact he's a Wizard, instead proceeded to hop up and run about._

_A tactic which only seemed to make matters worse and caused quite a ruckus!_

_With a few well placed_ "Aguamenti" _from some level headed guests the fire was extinguished. Sadly, nothing could be done to save the Headmaster's rather colourful robes._

_Dumbledore was extremely irate and demanded to know who had cast the Fire-Making Spell, which_ _**several** _ _of those in attendance had used to light their fireplaces before making their way to the event. The list of guests the Professor inadvertently accused via his demand included -but were not limited to- the Minister for Magic Millicent Bagnold and the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement Bartemius Crouch Sr._

_The Professor was asked to leave the Manor and, when contacted, refused to comment about the event. However others weren't so rude and were happy to give this reporter a few moments of their time._

" _How could a Professor at a school as well renowned as Hogwarts forget they can use magic? I'm sure even the children, should they be allowed to use magic outside of classes, would have been more than happy to assist the man." Lord Nott, one of the guests who had helped put out the fire, could only shake his head at the Headmaster's antics._

_Another helpful visitor, Miss Tubloria Tumblesome, when asked about her brave actions had this to say:_

" _Well I couldn't very well let the man go up in flames, though it's a shame those atrocious robes he was wearing didn't burn completely. The man shouldn't be allowed to pick out clothing, and whoever made those THINGS should be fired…" The woman had paused before she looked at me with a rather pointed expression. "Not literally, mind you."_

_I dare say, my dear readers, that this will be a Winter Gala to remember for generations to come!_

_**Rita Skeeter** _

_More on Malfoy's Winter Gala… pg. 2_

_More on Ministry and Officials… pg. 3_

_More on Albus Dumbledore… pg. 11_

…

Rea had to contain her laughter as she set the Daily Prophet aside and continued to eat her breakfast.

**§ Serves the bastard right. §** Vesta chuckled and the mischievous child couldn't agree more.

**§ This is only the beginning. Just wait until I get to Hogwarts. §**

**§ Sounds ominous… §**

oOoOoOoOoOo

**§ Wake up! It's Christmas! §** Not like Vesta really cared about it being Christmas so much as the surprise that awaited the child's parents.

"And I should care... why?" Rea asked in an obvious attempt to try and buy herself more time for sleep.

**§ Because you have to give your parents their gift… You know, the one where Axerod will have the camera ready to capture their expressions for all time? §**

Rea bolted out of bed so fast it sent the Naga flying across the room. Luckily the entire suite was padded by lush foliage and Vesta's landing had been quite comfortable.

**§ Thank Magic the Primals favour you. §**

"Huh?"

**§ No time. Get a move on before your parents begin to worry. Usually the hatchlings are the ones to arouse them from slumber on this day. The fact they woke up on their own… they are probably worried about your health. §** Vesta stated as she moved up Rea's body and wrapped herself around the child's shoulders.

"Have I ever told you that tickles?" Rea inquired offhandedly as she made her way through her rooms and towards the hall, determined to get to her parents and assuage any worries they might have as soon as possible.

**§ Why do you think I do it? §** Vesta countered with a chuckle and Rea playfully rolled her eyes.

"Figures."

"Rea, it's about time!" Axerod admonished as the raven haired child entered the room.

"Sorry, I thought today would be perfect for sleeping in." She apologized sheepishly and rubbed the back of her head. "Besides, I'd like to think myself above hopping onto beds and waking the whole household at an ungodly hour, thank you." She added with a smirk.

"You don't have to hold back, you're still young Rea."

"I know Mum." Rea smiled as she sat at the table and started to pile on the hash browns. "But I also enjoy my beauty sleep." She added as she tucked into the mountain of potato-ey goodness.

"Does she eat anything else?" Ry inquired. The brunette was usually at work during breakfast hours and rarely got to see what his daughter chose for her morning meals.

"Only if you add it in with the hash browns." Axerod answered and sighed in mock exasperation.

"Which Punkin does! Punkin won't let her Princess' health falter." The House Elf stated from behind the Goblin, which made the Being startle slightly much to everyone's amusement.

"Would you stop doing that?" Axerod hissed and narrowed his eyes at the female House Elf.

"Why? It's fun." Punkin smiled sweetly as she fluttered her eyelashes.

"You've created a monster." Axerod glared at Rea and the green eyed child merely smirked as she gave him a look that said "And?"

"Well, if everyone has had their fill shall we adjourn to the family room?" Ry asked his ladies… and the Goblin, who had somehow become a part of the family.

All the adults watched in amusement as Rea took off like a flash and gave a happy "Wooohooo!" when she reached the room that housed the -rather large- Christmas tree.

"Remind me next year to let Rea and Punkin decorate the tree to their heart's content and not open my big mouth." Ry sighed offhandedly as he rubbed his lower back. "Or at least not the Muggle way." He still couldn't figure out what had possessed him to make such a rash decision.

"Your ass still hurt?" Axerod smirked as he picked up a box from under his chair and followed in Rea's footsteps… so to speak.

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response." Ry grumbled as they all entered the room, only to find Rea was trying to replicate a pyramid with her presents.

"What?" The child asked when she noticed how everyone looked at her funny. "You were taking too long and I figured I would entertain myself in the meantime." She shrugged.

"Why a Pyramid?" Ry voiced what everyone else was probably thinking.

Rea shrugged. "Didn't think I could pull off a Sphinx just yet."

The brunette opened his mouth only to stop short when the Goblin raised his hand.

"There are certain things you just don't want to ask. Trust me." Axerod warned and Ry just shook his head and decided to heed the man's advice.

"Ready?" Zemi asked excitedly and Rea nodded enthusiastically.

This would be her first REAL Christmas after all. Luckily she hadn't missed too many, but even so… seeing the Muggle gets presents when she hadn't...

' _That's another life. A life that's not mine.'_

No, Rea hadn't missed any Christmases. In fact, the Noirs usually celebrated Yule. This was a new tradition they had started just for her, to help her better understand different cultures. She would need that knowledge, and she would put it to good use in the near future…

"This one first." And so the cycle began.

Zemi would hand her a present, and Rea would tear the wrapping to shreds. It didn't take long for the others to realize that the child just really enjoyed confetti and had created a rather impressive pile of the paper pieces.

All in attendance sent up a silent prayer and hoped the child didn't have PLANS for said confetti… Well, nothing more than tossing it around her room at least.

Sometime later...

"Yay, a broom! Can I practice the Wronski Feint now?"

Everyone gave a resounding "NO!" Vesta included, much to the surprise of the others.

"Spoilsports." Rea pouted.

"Okay, now that all the presents have been opened, how about we…"

"Not all of them." Axerod cut in with a smirk as he rummaged around in the box he'd brought.

"Oh, you got us something?" Zemi asked in a confused tone. The adults had agreed that this was a day for Rea and they weren't going to get gifts for one another.

"Not me. Rea." The Goblin stated and continued to fiddle with whatever he had stashed away in the container which sat in his lap.

"Rea?" Her parents turned their attention to the child at the same time and she already held out a wrapped gift towards them. "But how… you shouldn't have felt the need to…"

"Uncle Axerod and Punkin helped." She conveniently left out the part where it was the Naga's idea. "And I wanted to." Green eyes danced happily and her parents smiled as they nodded their acceptance and gently took the box from the girl's grasp.

Zemi delicately removed the decorative paper, determined to keep it pristine so she could frame it. This was the first gift their baby had ever given them, aside from her love and just being in their lives of course.

The Magical duo looked at the contents with wide eyes as their brains didn't quite comprehend what they were seeing.

The first thing that registered? The materials were almost entirely blue. The second thing which finally clicked was the fact that it was all baby items. And last, but not least, there was a note perched on top of it all which read:

"It's a Boy!"

The unmistakable flash of a camera shocked them out of their stupor, but by that time it was too late.

The little trickster had already made her escape!

"How… what…"

"I don't understand. How did she know?" Ry voiced the question his wife was still having trouble articulating.

"Vesta told her." Axerod shrugged. "Apparently the serpent could tell the moment Zemi got pregnant. Congratulations, by the way. We have some things to discuss, but that can wait until later." He smirked and made his way toward the door, the camera now firmly back within it's container.

The Goblin stopped in the doorway before he turned around and flashed them a toothy grin.

"By the way, she wants to name him." With that Axerod was off to find his willful Niece and left two rather stunned Magicals behind to figure things out on their own.

Last thing he wanted was to be held for interrogation.

oOoOoOoOoOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Late again? Yes. Chapter over 6,000 words? Yes! Forgive me? :)
> 
> Don't expect me to update more than once a month from here on ^^;; I will TRY and update more often, but I also wish to give my other stories some attention as well... Like finish Mine to Take and Harry Potter and the Strange Inheritance for instance. They are supposed to be rather short stories (comparatively speaking) so finishing a 10 (or so) chapter story before delving hardcore into a 50+ chapter one is probably a good idea XD lmao

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Please note, before you comment on Harry's thoughts vs. speech, he's only about four. His thoughts are more developed but, seeing as he isn't allowed to talk much, his vocals are still developing to be able to pronounce things well... Anyway, what do you think? Are my OCs entertaining? They have really come alive in my head and I'm enjoying them :D lol


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